(COLD SHOW OPEN)
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"Batholomew" - The Silent Comedy
(from 2010 album Common Faults, theme
from season 1 of TV series Goliath
from season 1 of TV series Goliath
THE CASE OF RUBY...
THE CARNIVAL GIRL WHO
TOOK HER LOVE TO TOWN!
"Ruby Baby' - Dion
(Feb/Mar. 1963, highest chart pos. #2 Hot 100/#3 Cash Box)
Our client's name is Ruby.
Ruby is a "carny"...
a carnival worker.
She operates a very
successful kissing booth.
In the trade it's called
a "smooch booth."
Ruby is a good kid...
a nice girl. She means well.
Ruby was my mother's name.
Our client stands accused of
pitting brother against brother
in a tug-of-war to win her
hand and other body parts.
I'm Jimmy Berluti...
an associate at the Boston
law firm of Donnell, Young,
Dole & Frutt on the hit
TV series The Practice.
They call me Jimmy the Grunt
because I'm strictly a working-class
stiff - no pretense, just a regular guy
practicing law, and I'm gonna keep
on practicing until I get it right.
because I'm strictly a working-class
stiff - no pretense, just a regular guy
practicing law, and I'm gonna keep
on practicing until I get it right.
I'm Patty
Solis-Papagian...
a DUI lawyer/real estate agent
who works with Santa Monica
attorney Billy McBride (who
bears a striking resemblance
to Billy Bob Thornton) on the
hit television series Goliath.
And I'm
Kim Wexler...
a lawyer who previously worked
at a successful law firm based
in Albuquerque. Currently,
I'm sharing office space with
"Slippin' Jimmy" McGill aka
Saul Goodman, a small-time
lawyer on the hit TV series
Better Call Saul, a spin-
off of Breaking Bad.
We welcome you to
Plan B (Soft)...
a very different kind of radio show
coming to you exclusively here on
S-P-M-M, the number one station
for crimes and investigation. On
every show I, along with my law
partners, bring you in on actual
court cases and reveal our secret
strategy as we defend clients
and help them beat the rap.
a very different kind of radio show
coming to you exclusively here on
S-P-M-M, the number one station
for crimes and investigation. On
every show I, along with my law
partners, bring you in on actual
court cases and reveal our secret
strategy as we defend clients
and help them beat the rap.
As experienced lawyers, Patty,
Kim and I make a formidable
dream team. We lay down the
law, mount a rigorous defense.
Remember our slogan: "Your
problems will be little 'cause
we always win acquittal."
Now, I can hear some of
you asking, "What exactly do
you mean by Plan B (Soft)?"
"Plan B" is where we create
reasonable doubt in the minds
of the jurors that our client is
guilty. We do that by pointing
guilty. We do that by pointing
the finger at somebody else
and suggesting that they
did the crime.
Kim, Patty and I intend to prove beyond a reasonable
doubt, in fact, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there
is no better radio show anywhere than the one we
are hosting on S-P-M-M. As you will see & hear,
the evidence is overwhelming and irrefutable.
Now back to our case.
Right off the bat, I ask
you not to hate our
client simply because
she's beautiful. Listen
closely to her story
you not to hate our
client simply because
she's beautiful. Listen
closely to her story
and give her a fair trial.
In a nutshell (and in a taxi
cab)... Ruby came to me
and revealed that she
is charged with first
degree "HB&E" - heart-
breaking and entering
cab)... Ruby came to me
and revealed that she
is charged with first
degree "HB&E" - heart-
breaking and entering
(into promiscuity).
Don't judge on the basis of looks alone. Make no mistake, ladies
and gentlemen of the jury. Ruby is not a floozy. She is not a hussy.
and gentlemen of the jury. Ruby is not a floozy. She is not a hussy.
She is wholesome, prim and proper, a nice, down to earth
girl from a good family, raised right by her mama.
girl from a good family, raised right by her mama.
The evidence will show that Ruby and
her family lived in the country and
were dirt poor. That being the case,
Ruby was miserable, always longing
for something better and looking for
a chance to break free of her hard life.
her family lived in the country and
were dirt poor. That being the case,
Ruby was miserable, always longing
for something better and looking for
a chance to break free of her hard life.
The fact of the matter is that Ruby's morals were corrupted the night
she took a walk before dark to a swingin' place called Kennywood Park.
"Kennywood Park" Freddy Cannon
(1986 rerecording of "Palisades Park")
From the moment Ruby got a
taste of fun and excitement at
that amusement park, her life
taste of fun and excitement at
that amusement park, her life
became a roller-coaster ride.
She made up her mind once
and for all to pull up stakes
and put her bleak life in
the boondocks behind her.
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"Goodbye cruel world!" Ruby cried.
"I'm off to join the circus!" or...
in Ruby's case... the carnival.
She made up her mind once
and for all to pull up stakes
and put her bleak life in
the boondocks behind her.
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"Goodbye cruel world!" Ruby cried.
"I'm off to join the circus!" or...
in Ruby's case... the carnival.
"Goodbye Cruel World" - James Darren
(Nov./Dec. 1961, highest chart pos. #2 Cash Box/#3 Hot 100)
Ruby packed her bags
and bade farewell to her
high school sweetheart.
He said "Goodbye, Ruby"
on a Tuesday. (See what
I did there?) She threw
caution to the wind...
rolled the dice and
gave the wheel of
fortune a spin.
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In short... Ruby took her love
to town and never looked back.
"Ruby, Don't Take Your Love To Town"
- Kenny Rogers And The First Edition
(July/Aug. 1969, highest chart pos. #6 Hot 100/#7 Cash Box)
Ruby took to her new life with the carnival like a fish to water.
Before long she had found not one
but two new boyfriends, and they
turned out to be brothers. One
brother was the tilt-a-whirl
guy, and the other ran
the bumper car track.
It was only a matter of time before a lovers' triangle
developed and someone got hurt.
Objection, your honor! Badgering! The prosecution's claim
that my client regards men as playthings, as nothing
that my client regards men as playthings, as nothing
more than toys, lacks foundation and is prejudicial.
I also move to strike! Counsel's
assertion that our client is afraid
to take the witness stand in her
own defense calls for spec-
ulation and is without merit.
Ruby wants the truth to come out.
She has stated on numerous
occasions, both publicly and
privately: "I Wanna Testify!"
assertion that our client is afraid
to take the witness stand in her
own defense calls for spec-
ulation and is without merit.
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Ruby wants the truth to come out.
She has stated on numerous
occasions, both publicly and
privately: "I Wanna Testify!"
"I Wanna Testify" - The Parliaments
(Aug./Sept. 1967, highest chart pos. #3 R&B,
#18 Cash Box/#20 Hot 100)
#18 Cash Box/#20 Hot 100)
Ladies and gentlemen, I totally concur
with what my distinguished colleague
Miss Wexler just told you. I assure you
that our client is eager to clear her name.
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Ruby takes her sworn oath to tell
the truth and nothing but the truth
very seriously. In our pretrial prep
sessions she has repeated over and
over again-- "Ain't Gonna Lie."
"Ain't Gonna Lie" - Keith
(Oct./Nov. 1966, highest chart pos.
#31 Cash Box/#39 Hot 100)
#31 Cash Box/#39 Hot 100)
In the end, Ruby negotiated a deal on her own behalf
whereby she meets behind closed doors with the judge
in his chambers every Saturday night for a year.
Citing Ruby's very good behavior, the judge released
her on her own recognizance.
her on her own recognizance.
The Case of Ruby...
The Carnival Girl Who
Took Her Love to Town
Took Her Love to Town
was a media circus, but the trial
is over and the case is closed.
Thanks for being here. Stay
tuned on the other side of
news for that nifty missy
Thanks for being here. Stay
tuned on the other side of
news for that nifty missy
of the fabulous Fifties
Joyce Martin who will
be here with the latest
edition of her show
Joyce Martin's
a Gold Digger...
Joyce is a good kid...a nice girl.... she means well. Joyce was my mother's name.
And stick around because we'll be back soon with another true
crime story ripped from our case files. Till then remember this.
If you're in an accident, Better Call Saul or Billy McBride.
crime story ripped from our case files. Till then remember this.
If you're in an accident, Better Call Saul or Billy McBride.
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But if you need a music fix and need it real bad, call our lawfirm. Remember
too that suspicion equals reasonable doubt, and that's what Plan B (Soft) is
all about. Now for my partners Kim Wexler and Patty Solis-Papagian this is
Jimmy Berluti reminding you to treat your mama real nice. See you next time!
