INSPIRED BY THE SHADY DELL, YORK, PA, AND DEDICATED TO ITS OWNERS JOHN & HELEN ETTLINE
AND TO MARGARET ELIZABETH BROWN SCHNEIDER, NICKNAMED "THE OLDEST LIVING DELL RAT"


Tuesday, March 5, 2024

  The 1600 Club  
 Meet the Supremes of Pennsylvania Ave. 

 Vol. 1: Mellie For President - 
 "Built, Back and Better!" 


COLD OPEN:
CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW!


"Elected" - Alice Cooper
(Sept. to Nov. 1972, highest chart pos. #18 Cash Box/#26 Hot 100,
#4 UK/#3 Germany & Austria/#5 Netherlands)       



Hello, my fellow Americans!
I'm Mellie Grant. 

As you might recall from my previous appearance at Shady's Place
at the end of 2022, I am the former First Lady of these great
United States of America on the political thriller
television series Scandal.


Think I look like Jessica Whitly, Malcolm's mom on Prodigal Son?

  
or Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer? Yeah, I get that a lot.

 

I called this news conference
in order to put to rest a silly,
unsubstantiated rumor that
has been floating around -
a false story that has been
reported by the fake news
media for weeks now.





Today, I am announcing to this
great nation of ours that, contrary
to what you might have heard
through the gossipy grapevine,
I am not..... I repeat not.....
throwing my hat in the ring
and humbly asking for your
vote and the opportunity to
proudly serve you, the great
American people, as your next
President of the United States.
God bless America! 

If nominated, I will not run.
If elected, I will not serve. 
Now that I've cleared that up, just for fun, just to hear
how it sounds... let me shout it from the rooftops: 


"Mellie for President 2024...
and God bless America!" 

To those silly skeptics who still think I'm a candidate
to become the next leader of the free world...
I call bullcrap!


Goodness, I'll be much too busy serving my country
as a Shady Bunch DJ on S-P-M-M Retrosonic Radio.

That said, I welcome you to our new show
  The 1600 Club:
Meet the Supremes
of Pennsylvania Avenue


Joining me in hosting the show will be three other
White House Wonder Women.

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW!

As powerful, influential females in orbit around
the President in Washington, D.C., we like to think of
ourselves as The Supremes of Pennsylvania Avenue.



"Reflections" - Diana Ross And The Supremes
(Aug./Sept. 1967, highest chart position
#2 Hot 100 & Cash Box/#4 R&B)

You just heard from the stars of our series, the featured artists of
  The 1600 Club
Diana Ross And The Supremes, performing their
psychedelic pop styled 1967 hit "Reflections."


My notes indicate that the Supremes' single peaked at #2
on the pop chart, denied the top spot two weeks in a row
by the Bobbie Gentry smash "Ode To Billie Joe."



Now, meet the other
White House 
Wonder Women
beginning with the home-
wrecking hussy who came
between me and my (ex)
husband Fitz, the sitting
President who preferred
to lie in bed with her.

That's right, my fellow
Americans. I admit that
I'm not a happy camper
since I lost my hubby
to his secret squeeze,
his mistress, his girl
on the side (and very
often on her back).
The tramp's name
is Olivia Pope.


You see, my cheating, skirt-chasing ex-hubby, The President, is always
hooking up with that conniving witch. He even ditched me last Christmas
and spent the holidays with his Ho Ho Ho! They do it right there in on
his desk in the Oval Office, in hotels, on trains and boat and planes,
at the top of the Washington Monument, in Abe's lap at the
Lincoln Memorial --  you name it. 




I hate to go on and on about it, but
they're like a couple of bunny rabbits
those two, and I'm sick and tired of it!
Finally, I had enough and issued an
old tomato. I said to him, "make up
your mind, bucko...do you want me
and your political career... or her?"
He chose her.





So yeah, if you want the truth,
the break up of my marriage
has left me an angry, bitter
and frustrated former
First Lady.

 But, you know what?
They say the best revenge
is massive success, and I'll
have it the day I become

President of these
great United States
of God Bless America
 
the best darned DJ on
the Shady Bunch roster. 




Hello, I'm Olivia Pope...
former media relations consultant to President Fitzgerald Grant III
(Mellie's ex) on Scandal. Along with media relations, Fitz
and I regularly engage in relations of another kind.


In addition to the places Mellie mentioned, we do it the East Wing,
the West Wing, the White House lawn, on Air Force One, in the
Goodyear Blimp and snap, on the 50-yard line of Fed-Ex-Field.
Long story short... Fitz can't get enough of this funky stuff. 


To set the mood, Scandal boasts the best music soundtrack
since Cop Rock, and here on our radio series
  The 1600 Club
...I'll play some of the songs you'll hear on the TV show.
I'm talkin' about classic R&B, funk and sophisticated soul. 



CLICK TO START
THE VIDEO NOW! 

The song you're hearing
right now is all about that
Harper Valley hypocrite
Mellie Grant. I know why
she married Fitz, a politician
on track to become President.
Her plan was to ride his coat-
tails to the White House and
launch her own political
career. That Karen's in it
for fame, power and
"For The Love
Of Money!"


"For The Love Of Money (Give It To Me)" - Jay-Z vs The O'Jays 
Boogie Hill Faders Remix (Feb. 2020)


Hola! Me llamo Isabel Pardo...
I am White House Deputy Chief of Staff on the
political thriller drama TV series Designated Survivor


I'm the girlfriend of the Vice President-elect of the United States
Aaron Shore, no relation to Shady Bunch DJ Alan Shore...
but just as much of a horn-dog. 


START VIDEO NOW! 
 That's right. As in Mellie Grant's
case - having to put up with her
lowdown cheating husband,
the President, I caught my
man steppin' out and doggin'
around. Now I'm stuck in the
middle of a messy love triangle.
Know what? I'm gonna kick
"hammerin' Hank" Aaron to
the curb, and I've got the
perfect Santana song to
sing as I send him packing.
"You Just Don't Care" and
now, mi amigo, neither do I. 


"You Just Don't Care" - Santana
(from Aug. 1969 album Santana)





Hello, I'm
Emily Rhodes

...former Chief of Staff and
current Special Advisor to the
President of the United States
Kiefer Sutherland Tom Kirkman,
on the political thriller drama TV
series Designated Survivor. Okay,
I confess that I made a mistake
when I slept with Isabel's boy toy,
Vice President-elect Aaron Shore.

I never intended for it to go as far as it did. See, we were working together
late one night and one thing led to another and yada yada yada.


 It blew up when Isabel found us nekked together in the Rose Garden.



 Now, Aaron's practically
down on his knees
begging Izzy to take
him back... and I'm
finding it hard to
say goodbye. 

CLICK TO
START THE
VIDEO NOW! 

Foxes And Fossils explain it
in their Linda Ronstadt
cover of Evie Sands'--
"I Can't Let Go!" 


"(I) Can't Let Go" - Evie Sands/Hollies cover
by Foxes And Fossils (Aug. 2013) 









I hear you, Emily, but I'm
still hella mad. I'm calling
you out as a skank, and
your crocodile tears
don't mean a thing.
I'm dedicating this
next song to you
and to that cheatin',
mistreatin' dawg
Aaron who came
crawling back to
me with his tail
between his legs.



 






In June, 1961... a four
member girl group called
The Sweethearts released
"Sorry Daddy," an answer
song to "Daddy's Home,"
a major hit that year for
the R&B/doo-wop group
Shep & The Limelites.
The Sweethearts song
didn't give Daddy the
answer he hoped for: 

Daddy, momma is glad
That you've come back home,
But I'm sorry, pretty daddy,
But you've waited too long.
Sorry daddy, sorry daddy, I'm gone. 




The Sweethearts' single missed the chart, but the song was
resurrected 60 years later by Latina soul queen Monica Rocha
backed by The Notations, a veteran soul group from Chicago.
 
CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW! 

Singing this long lost answer song written by Shep Sheppard,
here are Monica and The Notations-- "Sorry Daddy." 


"Sorry Daddy" - The Notations feat. Monica Rocha
(June 2020)



Izzy, I don't see why you've got your knickers in a bunch.
The fact that I slept with your precious Aaron is no big deal. 


It's all the nasty stuff we did while we were still awake
that should bother you. See what I did there?

 
Besides, Aaron's back with you now
and I'm out in the cold on my own.
 I don't expect us to be besties, but
we need to learn to work together
at the White House for the good of
the country. You need to understand
how hard it is working side by side
with Aaron every day and wanting
to spend nights with him like you do. 
I've got another The Supremes chart-
topper that speaks to the situation. 

START VIDEO NOW! 

The song tells the truth about the
way that I feel whenever handsome,
charismatic Aaron walks in the
room-- "I Hear A Symphony!" 


"I Hear A Symphony - The Supremes
(Oct./Nov. 1965, highest chart pos. #1 Hot 100,
#1 Cash Box/#2 R&B/#1 Canada)

Boohoo, Emily.  No one cares about your problems.  Let's refocus on mine.
You say you hear a symphony?  I've got a symphony for you, sister!


For too long, I've been nothing but eye candy - window dressing
in this boys' club... unappreciated and underestimated.


 I caught hubby Fitz lying down on the job, literally...
and the American people deserve better.


So c'mon America.  Get with the program. 
Anything a mortal man can do, Mellie can do better!
Put another man in the White House and you're
asking for a-- "Symphony of Destruction!"


"Symphony of Destruction" - Megadeth
guitar cover by nacoco music (March 2024)



To top it off, now that she knows I'm running for president,
that "rhymes with witch" Olivia Pope is doing everything
in her power to prevent me from winning the election.

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW! 

She's telling everyone I'm "out of touch" with the issues
and the needs of the average American, and since we're
almost "out of time," here are Daryl Hall And John Oates!


"Out Of Touch" - Daryl Hall And John Oates
(Oct. thru Dec. 1984, highest chart pos. #1 Hot 100,
#3 Cash Box/#1 U.S. Dance Club)

 
So, to review, The 1600 Club revolves around four powerful
women in a circle around two powerful men forming two
love triangles. To complete the equation... there are
zero squares among us.






Thanks for joining us
today for the debut of 
The 1600 Club.
We'll be back with more
great tunes and more
relationship drama
in the next edition
coming soon.







I suppose you could say that all four Wonder Women of the White House
are riding on a "Love Rollercoaster," and to play us off, here's the
funk band that recorded the song and made it famous.

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW!

They're the Ohio Players doing one of their biggest hits, a single that reached
#1 at the start of 1976. Now for my arch rival Mellie Grant, Isabel Pardo
and Emily Rhodes, I'm Olivia Pope saying so long and reminding you -
please... don't do anything we wouldn't do. See you next time! 


"Love Rollercoaster" - Ohio Players
(Dec. 1975/Jan. 1976, highest chart pos. #1 Hot 100,
#1 R&B/#3 Cash Box/#2 Canada)