Plan B (Soft) - Vol. 1: The Case of the Farmer's Daughter

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW!

(COLD SHOW OPEN)

"Batholomew" - The Silent Comedy

(from 2010 album Common Faults, theme
from season 1 of TV series Goliath

 THE CASE OF THE 

 FARMER'S DAUGHTER 

"Farmer John" - The Premiers

(July 1964, highest chart pos. #19 Hot 100 & Cash Box)

Our client's name is Alice Brandt.
Alice is a simple farm girl, a farmer's daughter...
the one with the champagne eyes. Alice is

a good kid, a nice girl. She means well.

Alice was my mother's name.

I'm Jimmy Berluti...

an associate at the Boston

law firm of Donnell, Young,

Dole & Frutt on the hit

TV series The Practice.

They call me Jimmy the Grunt
because I'm strictly a working-class
stiff - no pretense, just a regular guy
practicing law, and I'm gonna keep
on practicing until I get it right.

I'm Patty

Solis-Papagian...

a DUI lawyer/real estate agent

who works with Santa Monica

attorney Billy McBride (who

bears a striking resemblance

to Billy Bob Thornton) on the

hit television series Goliath.

And I'm

Kim Wexler...

a lawyer who previously worked

at a successful law firm based

in Albuquerque. Currently,

I'm sharing office space with

"Slippin' Jimmy" McGill aka

Saul Goodman, a small-time

lawyer on the hit TV series

Better Call Saul, a spin-

off of Breaking Bad.

We welcome you to

Plan B (Soft)...
a very different kind of radio show
coming to you exclusively here on
S-P-M-M, the number one station
for crimes and investigation. On
every show I, along with my law
partners, bring you in on actual
court cases and reveal our secret
strategy as we defend clients
and help them beat the rap.

As experienced lawyers, Patty,

Kim and I make a formidable

dream team. We lay down the

law, mount a rigorous defense.

Remember our slogan: "Your

problems will be little 'cause

we always win acquittal."

Now,  I can hear some of

you asking, "What exactly do

you mean by Plan B (Soft)?"

"Plan B" is where we create

reasonable doubt in the minds

of the jurors that our client is
guilty. We do that by pointing

the finger at somebody else

and suggesting that they

did the crime. 

 

Kim, Patty and I intend to prove beyond a reasonable

doubt, in fact, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there

is no better radio show anywhere than the one we

are hosting on S-P-M-M. As you will see & hear,

the evidence is overwhelming and irrefutable.

START VIDEO!

Now back to our case.

Right off the bat... I ask

you not to hate our client

simply because she's beautiful.

Listen closely to her story

and give her a fair trial.

In a nutshell, (and a taxi cab),

Alice Brandt came to me,

charged with first degree

"HB&E" - heart-breaking &

entering (into promiscuity).

"Heartbreaker" - Dionne Warwick

(Nov./Dec. 1982, highest chart pos.

#10 Hot 100/#15 Cash Box/#14 R&B)

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW!

At first blush, before you know all the facts of the case, Alice

might appear to be, not just a heart-breaker, but a heart killer.

"Heartkiller" - Kat Graham

(from May 2012 EP Against the Wall)

(SCENES FROM THE TRIAL)

CLICK TO START
THE VIDEO NOW!

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it

is important that you understand

our client's dirt poor beginnings.

You see, when she was just a kid,

 her clothes were hand-me-down.

To make matters worse, they

always laughed at her when

she came into town, called

her rag doll, little rag doll.

"Rag Doll" - The 4 Seasons

(June/July 1964, highest chart pos. #1 Hot 100 & Cash Box,

performance on Aug 12, 1966, ep. of Where The Action Is)

The defense will show

that Alice's problems

began when she left her

childhood sweetheart,

a young man named

Billie Joe McAllister,

pining away for her

in the hay loft, and

 hopped a bus to

the big city.

CLICK TO START
THE VIDEO NOW!

Alice landed a job as an

administrative assistant at

a large company. In no time

she attracted the attention of

male co-workers, Dating offers

poured in. I guess you could

say that Alice became an

overnight sensation.

"Overnight Sensation" - Jerry Knight

(Apr. thru June 1980, highest chart pos.

#17 R&B/#103 Bubbling Under, perf. on Soul Train)

 Flattered by all the attention, Alice got caught up in the
excitement and, before long, earned a reputation as ...

the office hussy!
Dating 300 men at the same time brought Alice to...

the edge of doom.

It also brought her to us,

the legal dream team of

Berluti Solis-Papagian

and Wexler.

CLICK TO START
THE VIDEO NOW!

By now it would be completely

understandable if you looked

at Alice and said to yourself,

"devil or angel... I can't

make up my mind

which one you are."

"Devil Or Angel" - Bobby Vee

(Oct. 1960, highest chart position

#4 Cash Box/#6 Hot 100/#22 R&B)

Be that as it may, we are confident that when you weigh all
the evidence, there is but one conclusion - our client is

innocent on all counts of heartbreaking and entering.

Alice, a good girl from a cabin in the cotton, came to the big city
in search of a better life. Inexperienced, dazzled by the bright lights,
she fell prey to men who took advantage of her. They are the ones

who should be standing trial, all 300 of them... not our client.

Alice's legal defense is one that

has withstood the test of time.

It's as old as Adam & Eve -

a plain and simple fact...

the girl can't help it!

"The Girl Can't Help It" - Little Richard

(Jan./Feb. 1957, highest chart pos. #7 R&B/#49 Hot 100,

scenes from Dec. 1956 film The Girl Can't Help It)

How're you gonna keep them down on the farm, after
they've had a taste of the good life in the big city?

ALICE BRANDT: VIXEN?... OR VICTIM?

Are there advantages to being beautiful in today's

society? Yes, most certainly, but there can be

just as many heartaches. Go ask Alice, I think

she'll know. The Defense rests, your honor.

Our closing argument is this,
ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
Our client, Alice, is a nice country
girl from a good family, a gullible
innocent who became putty in the
hands of city slickers attracted like
flies by her Elly May Clampett looks,
selfish cads who took advantage of
 her good-natured naivete and
 generosity. The wrongdoing
in this case was entirely
on their part, not hers.

The Case of the Farmer's Daughter

has been milked for all its worth.

Thanks for being here. Stay tuned

on the other side of news for the
debut of Daisy Skye's Power Surge.
Daisy's a good kid... a nice girl.
She means well. Daisy was
my mother's name.

CLICK TO START

THE VIDEO NOW!

Stick around because we'll be back soon with another true crime story

ripped from our case files. Till then, remember this. If you're in an accident,

Better Call Saul or Billy McBride, but if you need a music fix and need it real
bad, call us and ask for Plan B (Soft). Remember too that suspicion equals
reasonable doubt, and that's what Plan B (Soft) is all about. Now for my
partners Kim Wexler and Patty Solis-Papagian, this is Jimmy Berluti
reminding you to treat your mama real nice. See you next time!

Plan B (Soft) - The Case of Evil Eva!

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW!

(COLD SHOW OPEN)

"Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon" - Neil Diamond

(Apr./May 1967, highest chart pos. #9 Cash Box/#10 Hot 100)

That was Neil Diamond kicking-off this special blogcast with
his top 10 hit from 1967, "Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon."

Hi, I'm Jimmy Berluti, an associate
at the Boston law firm of Donnell,
Young, Dole & Frutt on the hit
television series The Practice.

They call me Jimmy the Grunt
because I'm strictly a working class
stiff - no pretense, just a regular

guy practicing law, and I'm gonna

keep on practicing till I get it right.

I'm Patty Solis-Papagian,

a DUI lawyer and

real estate agent who

works with Santa Monica

attorney Billy McBride

(who bears a striking

resemblance to

Billy Bob Thornton)

on the hit television

series Goliath.

And I'm Kim Wexler, a lawyer
who previously worked at HHM,
a successful law firm based in
Albuquerque, NM. Currently I
am sharing office space with

"Slippin' Jimmy" McGill aka
Saul Goodman, a small-time
lawyer on the hit TV series
Better Call Saul, a spin-off
of Breaking Bad.

Patty and Kim are good kids, nice girls.

Patty was my mother's name. So was Kim.

The three of us are here today to bring you

the exciting news that, starting next year,

we will be joining Shady Del Knight's

entertainment company The Shady Bunch

and hosting our own radio show here on

S-P-M-M.  It's called Plan B (Soft)

and today we have a preview.

As experienced lawyers, Patty, Kim and I make a formidable dream team.

We lay down the law, mount a rigorous defense. Remember our slogan:

"Your problems will be little 'cause we always win acquittal." Now I can

hear some of you asking, "What exactly do you mean by Plan B (Soft)?"

"Plan B" is where we create reasonable doubt in the minds of the jurors

that our client is guilty. We do that by pointing the finger at somebody

else and suggesting they did the crime. In today's test case Kim, Patty

and I intend to prove beyond a reasonable doubt, in fact, beyond a

shadow of a doubt, that there is no better radio show anywhere
than the one we will be hosting on S-P-M-M. As you will see

and hear... the evidence is overwhelming and irrefutable.

Now meet our client, Eva (below)... a 1950s teenager.

Eva's a good kid, a nice girl. Eva was my mother's name.
Eva came to us for help, informing us that she got
tangled up with a bad crowd and was arrested
for stealing hubcaps. We will argue that it is
her boyfriend Johnny's fault, not hers.

The defense will show that Johnny is a sketchy character in the truest sense,
a juvenile delinquent with a rap sheet a mile long, a bad apple, rotten to the core,
and that he was a bad influence on our client. We intend to prove that Johnny,
for the purpose of his own self gain, deliberately, wantonly, and with
malice aforethought, initiated our client into the seedy
gangland world of criminal mischief.

CLICK TO START
THE VIDEO NOW!

Submitted for your approval, exhibit A,
evidence that Eva is an innocent victim,
a mixed-up, shook-up girl who
got in over her head.

"Mixed-Up, Shook-Up, Girl" - Patty And The Emblems
(July/Aug. 1964, highest chart pos. #28 Cash Box/#37 Hot 100)





(SCENES FROM THE TRIAL)

CLICK TO START
THE VIDEO NOW!

Move to strike, your honor!
We zealously object to the
prosecution's use of the name
"Evil Eva" when referring
to our client. Clearly it is
meant to inflame the jury!

"Evil Eva" - The Newbeats
(Aug. 1966, B side of "Bird Dog)

Objection! - Prejudicial!

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THE VIDEO NOW!

We denounce opposing counsel's
description of our client as a
"Little Town Flirt," ask that it be
stricken from the record and the
jury be instructed to disregard!

"Little Town Flirt" - Del Shannon
(Jan./Feb. 1963, highest chart pos. #11 Cash Box/#12 Hot 100)

CLICK TO START
THE VIDEO NOW!

We also object to the prosecution's
suggestion that our client is
"The Devil In Disguise!"

"(You're The) Devil In Disguise" - Elvis Presley
(July/Aug. 1963, highest chart pos. #3 Hot 100 & Cash Box) 

Objection!
Assumes facts

not in evidence.

CLICK TO START
THE VIDEO NOW!

We contest opposing counsel's assertion
that our client is a fool because she has
his love but treats him cruel. Everyone
in this room knows she's a fool
for loving Johnny!

"She's A Fool" - Lesley Gore
(Oct. thru Dec. 1963, highest chart pos. #5 Hot 100/#6 Cash Box)

Our closing argument is this, ladies and gentlemen
of the jury. Our client, Eva, is a nice girl from a
good family who fell under the spell of a dope
peddling, hubcap stealing gangster, a Svengali
who controlled her, manipulated her, made her
do his bidding and ran her afoul of the law.
It wasn't our client's fault, plain and simple,
and therefore you must find her "not guilty."

The defense rests. It is our contention
that this is an open and shut case but,
ultimately, it is you who must decide.
You the people are the judge and jury.

Regardless of the verdict, we hope you'll
join us in 2021 when we return with the
official debut of our new show, Plan B (Soft),
right here on S-P-M-M, the station that's
number one for music and fun.

 

Till then remember this.

If you're in an accident,

Better Call Saul or

Billy McBride...

CLICK TO START

THEVIDEO NOW!

But if you need a music fix

and need it real bad, call us

and ask for Plan B (Soft).

Remember, suspicion equals

reasonable doubt, and that's

what Plan B (Soft) is all about.

For my partners Kim & Patty

this is Jimmy Berluti saying

thanks and so long!

"Suspicion" - Terry Stafford
(Mar./Apr. 1964, highest chart pos. #3 Hot 100 & Cash Box)