Plan B (Soft) - Vol. 1: The Case of the Farmer's Daughter

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(COLD SHOW OPEN)

"Batholomew" - The Silent Comedy

(from 2010 album Common Faults, theme
from season 1 of TV series Goliath

 THE CASE OF THE 

 FARMER'S DAUGHTER 

"Farmer John" - The Premiers

(July 1964, highest chart pos. #19 Hot 100 & Cash Box)

Our client's name is Alice Brandt.
Alice is a simple farm girl, a farmer's daughter...
the one with the champagne eyes. Alice is

a good kid, a nice girl. She means well.

Alice was my mother's name.

I'm Jimmy Berluti...

an associate at the Boston

law firm of Donnell, Young,

Dole & Frutt on the hit

TV series The Practice.

They call me Jimmy the Grunt
because I'm strictly a working-class
stiff - no pretense, just a regular guy
practicing law, and I'm gonna keep
on practicing until I get it right.

I'm Patty

Solis-Papagian...

a DUI lawyer/real estate agent

who works with Santa Monica

attorney Billy McBride (who

bears a striking resemblance

to Billy Bob Thornton) on the

hit television series Goliath.

And I'm

Kim Wexler...

a lawyer who previously worked

at a successful law firm based

in Albuquerque. Currently,

I'm sharing office space with

"Slippin' Jimmy" McGill aka

Saul Goodman, a small-time

lawyer on the hit TV series

Better Call Saul, a spin-

off of Breaking Bad.

We welcome you to

Plan B (Soft)...
a very different kind of radio show
coming to you exclusively here on
S-P-M-M, the number one station
for crimes and investigation. On
every show I, along with my law
partners, bring you in on actual
court cases and reveal our secret
strategy as we defend clients
and help them beat the rap.

As experienced lawyers, Patty,

Kim and I make a formidable

dream team. We lay down the

law, mount a rigorous defense.

Remember our slogan: "Your

problems will be little 'cause

we always win acquittal."

Now,  I can hear some of

you asking, "What exactly do

you mean by Plan B (Soft)?"

"Plan B" is where we create

reasonable doubt in the minds

of the jurors that our client is
guilty. We do that by pointing

the finger at somebody else

and suggesting that they

did the crime. 

 

Kim, Patty and I intend to prove beyond a reasonable

doubt, in fact, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there

is no better radio show anywhere than the one we

are hosting on S-P-M-M. As you will see & hear,

the evidence is overwhelming and irrefutable.

START VIDEO!

Now back to our case.

Right off the bat... I ask

you not to hate our client

simply because she's beautiful.

Listen closely to her story

and give her a fair trial.

In a nutshell, (and a taxi cab),

Alice Brandt came to me,

charged with first degree

"HB&E" - heart-breaking &

entering (into promiscuity).

"Heartbreaker" - Dionne Warwick

(Nov./Dec. 1982, highest chart pos.

#10 Hot 100/#15 Cash Box/#14 R&B)

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At first blush, before you know all the facts of the case, Alice

might appear to be, not just a heart-breaker, but a heart killer.

"Heartkiller" - Kat Graham

(from May 2012 EP Against the Wall)

(SCENES FROM THE TRIAL)

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THE VIDEO NOW!

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it

is important that you understand

our client's dirt poor beginnings.

You see, when she was just a kid,

 her clothes were hand-me-down.

To make matters worse, they

always laughed at her when

she came into town, called

her rag doll, little rag doll.

"Rag Doll" - The 4 Seasons

(June/July 1964, highest chart pos. #1 Hot 100 & Cash Box,

performance on Aug 12, 1966, ep. of Where The Action Is)

The defense will show

that Alice's problems

began when she left her

childhood sweetheart,

a young man named

Billie Joe McAllister,

pining away for her

in the hay loft, and

 hopped a bus to

the big city.

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THE VIDEO NOW!

Alice landed a job as an

administrative assistant at

a large company. In no time

she attracted the attention of

male co-workers, Dating offers

poured in. I guess you could

say that Alice became an

overnight sensation.

"Overnight Sensation" - Jerry Knight

(Apr. thru June 1980, highest chart pos.

#17 R&B/#103 Bubbling Under, perf. on Soul Train)

 Flattered by all the attention, Alice got caught up in the
excitement and, before long, earned a reputation as ...

the office hussy!
Dating 300 men at the same time brought Alice to...

the edge of doom.

It also brought her to us,

the legal dream team of

Berluti Solis-Papagian

and Wexler.

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THE VIDEO NOW!

By now it would be completely

understandable if you looked

at Alice and said to yourself,

"devil or angel... I can't

make up my mind

which one you are."

"Devil Or Angel" - Bobby Vee

(Oct. 1960, highest chart position

#4 Cash Box/#6 Hot 100/#22 R&B)

Be that as it may, we are confident that when you weigh all
the evidence, there is but one conclusion - our client is

innocent on all counts of heartbreaking and entering.

Alice, a good girl from a cabin in the cotton, came to the big city
in search of a better life. Inexperienced, dazzled by the bright lights,
she fell prey to men who took advantage of her. They are the ones

who should be standing trial, all 300 of them... not our client.

Alice's legal defense is one that

has withstood the test of time.

It's as old as Adam & Eve -

a plain and simple fact...

the girl can't help it!

"The Girl Can't Help It" - Little Richard

(Jan./Feb. 1957, highest chart pos. #7 R&B/#49 Hot 100,

scenes from Dec. 1956 film The Girl Can't Help It)

How're you gonna keep them down on the farm, after
they've had a taste of the good life in the big city?

ALICE BRANDT: VIXEN?... OR VICTIM?

Are there advantages to being beautiful in today's

society? Yes, most certainly, but there can be

just as many heartaches. Go ask Alice, I think

she'll know. The Defense rests, your honor.

Our closing argument is this,
ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
Our client, Alice, is a nice country
girl from a good family, a gullible
innocent who became putty in the
hands of city slickers attracted like
flies by her Elly May Clampett looks,
selfish cads who took advantage of
 her good-natured naivete and
 generosity. The wrongdoing
in this case was entirely
on their part, not hers.

The Case of the Farmer's Daughter

has been milked for all its worth.

Thanks for being here. Stay tuned

on the other side of news for the
debut of Daisy Skye's Power Surge.
Daisy's a good kid... a nice girl.
She means well. Daisy was
my mother's name.

CLICK TO START

THE VIDEO NOW!

Stick around because we'll be back soon with another true crime story

ripped from our case files. Till then, remember this. If you're in an accident,

Better Call Saul or Billy McBride, but if you need a music fix and need it real
bad, call us and ask for Plan B (Soft). Remember too that suspicion equals
reasonable doubt, and that's what Plan B (Soft) is all about. Now for my
partners Kim Wexler and Patty Solis-Papagian, this is Jimmy Berluti
reminding you to treat your mama real nice. See you next time!