Bored of Education? Tired of Tests? Sick of School? Guidance Counselors Eddie & Lumpy Got the Cure!

Lock up your wife, Wilbur.

Ground your daughter, Gertrude.

I'm back! HEH! HEH! HEH!

I'm Lumpy Clarence Rutherford.

When I was a kid, I promised Daddy

I'd make something of myself and I did.

Today, people all over the world

recognize me as a symbol of success.

I'm CEO of three companies, live in a

mansion in Beverly Hills, own a private

villa on the French Riviera, a yacht and

a fleet of Rolls-Royces. Now I know what

 you're thinking.  You're asking yourself,

"How did Lumpy Clarence do it, and how

can I get my share of the good life?"

The answer is simple. Not only did

I ditch class to work on my jalopy,

I quit school altogether because

they weren't teaching me the things

I needed to learn to get rich quick.

 "Hot Rod High" - The Hondells 

 (Oct. 1964, B side of "Little Honda") 

Together with my

buddy Eddie...uh

...my associate

Edward Haskell...

I founded a

program called

Head Strong -

Turning Sheer

Ignorance Into

Dynamic, Life-

Changing Personal

Power Without

Trying Real Hard. 

School's for losers, Sam.

If you're tired of gettin'

pushed around by teachers

and doin' time in detention, check out our cool online training academy instead.

Pretty soon you'll be

movin' on up and

finally gettin' a

piece of the pie.

 "Carrie Anne" - The Hollies 

 (July/Aug. 1967, highest chart pos. #9 Hot 100/#10 Cash Box, 

 perf. on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, Nov. 17, 1967) 

At Head Strong Academy... we'll

teach you the secrets to attaining

awesome wealth in a jiffy.

That's right, Mildred. Learn our
amazing fast fortune techniques
in your spare time right there in
the comfort of your home while you
drink beer and eat Froot Loops.

HEH! HEH! HEH!

 "The New Girl In School" - Jan and Dean 

 (Mar./Apr. 1964, highest chart pos. #26 Cash Box/#37 Hot 100) 

Our Head Strong grads go places.

When you send in your modest

enrollment fee of $1,499.95

you will unlock the door

to your future.

The future's

so bright...

you gotta wear shades, Clyde.

HEH! HEH! HEH!

 "Swingin' School" 

 - Bobby Rydell 

 (May/June 1960, 

 highest chart pos. 

 #5 Hot 100/#6 C.B.) 

Bored of education? Tired of tests?

Sick of school? The Head Strong

program is the cure you've

been looking for.

Enroll in the next 30 minutes

and receive absolutely free an

autographed copy of my new book

My Way Highway -

Your Road to Riches!

 "Bad Boy" - Larry Williams cover by The Beatles 

 (from June 1965 album Beatles VI) 

The Head Strong program:

 I'm not only the president... 

I'm also a client!

Hurry and call now. 

Operators are standing by.

Or check us out online at

www.filthyrichcoldcashbigbucks.com.

There's no obligation, no salesman will

call, and there are no medical questions

to answer. Best of all, you can't be

turned down for any reason.

Unless you can't

pay your tuition.

HEH! HEH! HEH!

 "Wonderful World" 

 - Herman's Hermits 

 (June/July 1965, highest 

 chart pos. #4 Hot 100, 

 #5 Cash Box,  perf. at 

 NME Poll Winners' 

 Concert - UK) 

Take the free tour of our virtual campus

and read the testimonials from millions

thousands hundreds dozens both of our
satisfied suckers customers students.

Do what they did.  Pass through the
ivy covered gates of our online
institute of higher learning and
start living large. Hurry, new

classes are starting soon!

Can't wait to

matriculate?

Just don't

let your mama

catch you!

HEH! HEH! HEH!

So you don't forget, log on now

and unlock your future...

...and the

door to that

candy apple

red Lambo

you've had

your eye on.

HEH! HEH! HEH!

And remember our slogan...

"A mind is a terrible thing..."

 HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY! 

A+ Songs from B, C and D Movies. Part 1: Caution - Bikini Bunnies Are Bustin' Out All Over!

 Beaver, I just got a 

 disturbing call from 

 Miss Landers about 

 an essay you wrote. 

 Gee, dad... all I did was 
 prove that the earth isn't 

 flat. It's just the opposite! 

 When I saw this movie, 
 I found out the truth. 

 It's a bikini world! 

 THE 
 CASTAWAYS 

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Oh, Beaver... you never fail to

crack me up with those zingers

of yours! But, know something,
folks?... the little guy is right.
Skeptics might cry "Liar Liar,"
but The Castaways, the frat rock
garage band from the Twin Cities,
are here to prove Beav's theory.

Check out this performance by The Castaways, punctuated by that epic
primal scream on the original recording, in a scene from the 1967 beach flick
It's a Bikini World, winner of 50 Academy Awards including Best Picture! 😋

 "Liar Liar" - The Castaways 

 (Sept./Oct. '65, highest cht. pos. #12 Hot 100 & Cash Box, 
 scene from April 1967 movie It's a Bikini World) 

 THE TOYS 

It's a Bikini World also gave us a rare glimpse of the Jamaica, NY, trio
The Toys led by Barbara Harris. With a melody based on a Bach minuet,
"A Lover's Concerto" was the act's biggest hit, a #2 charting smash.
Their follow-up single, "Attack," featuring more of that angelic
girl group harmony, made the top 20 and is my Pick to Click!

 "Attack" - The Toys 

 (Jan. 1967, highest chart pos. #18, 

 from Apr. 1967 film It's a Bikini World) 

"Liar Liar" and "Attack" were
hit records, but bad beach
movies often relied on
throw-away songs and
nondescript instrumentals.
A good example is found
in this next scene from
Get Yourself a College Girl.
The rock & roll reel was
released around Christmas
in 1964, deep in the heart of
Beatlemania, yet the producers
would have us believe that
mid 60s teenagers preferred
jiggling to goofy, generic surf-
rock instrumentals. In the
following clip, look for stars
Mary Ann Mobley, Joan
O'Brien, Nancy Sinatra
and Chris Noel.

For me, what is particularly noteworthy about

this scene is one of the other dancers, the one

wearing a white blouse and black pants. It's

Roberta Tennes, the blonde beauty who

soon after became one of the Gazzarri

Dancers on the LA-based syndicated

television series Hollywood A Go-Go.
Shortly after that, Roberta wowed me

every weekday as a member of the

Action Kids, the dance troupe on

Dick Clark's Where The Action Is.
Sadly, Roberta died in 2015.

Let's relive happier days with

Roberta and the other women

as they take a dance lesson in

Get Yourself a College Girl!

 "Dance Lesson" (from Dec. 1964 

 movie Get Yourself a College Girl. 

 THE ANIMALS 

Recordings by Eric Burdon's Animals have been used in the soundtracks
of three dozen movies and television shows, and the Brit band made
live appearances in several of them, including the above featured
film Get Yourself a College Girl. Burdon and company are seen
here in brilliant HD performing a cover of the Chuck Berry

song "Around and Around," a track from The Animals'

1964 debut US album.

 "Around and Around" - The Animals 

 (from Aug. 1964 album The Animals, 

 scene from December 1964 movie 
 Get Yourself  a College Girl) 

 DICK AND DEE DEE 

In 1966 the popular duo Dick And Dee Dee joined Jay And The Americans,

The Astronauts, The Beau Brummels and Jackie & Gayle at Alpine Meadows

Ski Resort in Lake Tahoe, California, for the musical romp Wild Wild Winter

aka Snowball. Sadly Dick died in 2003 after falling from the roof of his house.

Let's turn back the clock and smile again as we watch this scene from the

film in which Dick And Dee Dee sing the soundtrack song "Heartbeats."

 "Heartbeats" - Dick and Dee Dee 

 (from Jan. 1966 film Wild Wild Winter) 

 DONNA LOREN 

Sixties "Dr Pepper Girl" Donna Loren appeared and performed in several
of the movies in American International Pictures' Beach Party series.
In 1965, in the 5th AIP release Beach Blanket Bingo, Donna sang
"It Only Hurts When I Cry" which, in some circles, is considered
her signature song (apart from the Dr Pepper jingle).

 "It Only Hurts When I Cry" - Donna Loren 
 (from April 1965 film Beach Blanket Bingo) 

 HERMAN'S HERMITS 

In 1966 Peter Noone and his British group Herman's Hermits starred

in the American musical comedy flick Hold On! aka Beat! Beat! Beat!

aka There's No Place Like Space. The cast included Shelley Fabares,

Sue Ane Langdon and Herb Anderson, the dad on Dennis the Menace.

In this scene, Herman's Hermits do one of their top 10 U.S.hits

and one of my favorites by the group-- "A Must To Avoid."

 "A Must To Avoid" - Herman's Hermits 

 (Jan. 1966, highest chart pos. #6 Cash Box/#8 Hot 100, 

 from June 1966 movie Hold On!) 

 Easy there, Gertrude. Maintain 

 your cool, Sam. Don't get your 

 panties in a wad, Mildred! In 

 Pt. 2, Shady's got more surfer 

 girls, beach honeys and even 

 ski bunnies boppin' to the 

 beat of super cool tuneage. 

 It's all comin' up after this 

 word from our sponsor. 

 HEH HEH HEH! 

R.I.P.

Ken Osmond

(Eddie Haskell)

(June 7, 1943 – May 18, 2020)

When Girls Attack: These Vinyl Vixens, Garage a Go-Goers and Viral You-Tubers Will Shirley Make You Cry Uncle!

There are two

kinds of girls,

Beaver. There

are good girls

like your mother...

     Yeah, and then

     there are the

     FUN kind,

    right dad?

 THE BITTERSWEET 

The Buckeye state has spawned more than

its share of great yet little known girl groups.

One of Ohio's best was The Bittersweet, a

band from Dayton. The act also came to be

known as The Bittersweets (plural) when

the record company mistakenly added an

S to their name on the label of their single,

"Hurtin' Kind." Recorded in Cleveland

in 1967, "Hurtin' Kind" is a cover of a
song originally waxed by a Cleveland
boy band called The Tulu Babies.

This groovy tune might remind you
of the Kinks' hit "Tired of Waiting
For You." Listen and enjoy the
cool, minty fresh sound of
The Bittersweet!

"Hurtin' Kind"
The Bittersweet 

(1967 uncharted)

 LORI BURTON 

 WHYTE BOOTS 

The songwriting team of Lori Burton
and Pam Sawyer gave us the pop-rock composition "I Ain't Gonna Eat Out
My Heart Anymore," the first hit for
The Young Rascals. The record was
covered by the garage girl group
The Puppets. Burton and Sawyer
also penned songs for various
Motown artists and wrote
"All or Nothing," a minor
pop hit for Patty LaBelle
And The Blue Belles.

In 1967 Lori Burton released Break Out!, an album of songs co-written by her
and Pam Sawyer. The standout track on the album was "Nightmare," a dark,
dangerous, dramatic ditty inspired by the Shangri-Las' "Leader of the Pack."

No boy's worth the
trouble that I'm in!

"Nightmare" was released on a 45
and credited to The Whyte Boots,
a fictitious group that consisted
of lead singer Lori along with
Brill Building session singers.
With her tough Whyte Boots
single, Lori tried to match the
success of the Shangs, but the
record didn't chart. Sometimes
dreams come true, and today
"Nightmare" is hailed as a
classic of the genre - a groovy
example of girl power run amok
in the Psychedelic Sixties!

"Nightmare" - The Whyte Boots 

Lori Burton aka Lorie Burton aka Laurie Burton

(January 1967, uncharted)

 THE 

 PLEASURE 

 SEEKERS 

From rock mecca Detroit, Michigan,
they came. The Pleasure Seekers was
their name - an all girl garage band
made up of Suzi Quatro & her sisters.

Playing the kind of rough, raw, raunchy
rock usually reserved for boy bands,
The Pleasure Seekers developed a

loyal following in the Motor City in
the 60s while still in their teens.
Listen to this 1966 release and
you'll know why the Quatro
sisters rocked Rock City.

"What a Way to Die"
The Pleasure Seekers 

(1966, uncharted)

Check out this cool piece of trivia:

The oldest of the Quatro sisters dropped out of the

Pleasure Seekers, started a family and gave birth

to Sherilyn Fenn, the actress best known for her

role as "Audrey Horne" on Twin Peaks!

 SUZI  

 QUATRO 

When The Pleasure Seekers disbanded
in the early 70s, Suzi Quatro emerged
as a solo artist and established herself
in the glam rock arena. Suzi was the
first female bass player to become a

major rock star. Ironically, for several
years she was more popular in the UK
& Australia than she was in the states.

In the late 70s Suzi Quatro finally broke
through and became popular in America
when she appeared on the hit television
series Happy Days in the recurring
role of Leather Tuscadero.

In 1980 Suzi's cool cover of the
Dave Clark Five hit "Glad All Over"
was issued on her album Rock Hard.

"Glad All Over" was released as a
single and charted in Germany and
Scandinavia but not in England,
Australia or the U.S. Go figure!

"Glad All Over"
Suzi Quatro 

(1981 single from
1980 album Rock Hard)

   Patience is a

  virtue, Beaver.

    

       I know, dad.

       We gotta wait

       30 whole seconds

       to hear more cool

       girl tunes!

    Sugar and spice and

  all things nice, Beaver.

  That's what little girls

       are made of.

      Yeah, and the

      big girls in this

     post are made of
     Tabasco sauce

      and jet fuel.

 THE 5.6.7.8'S 

When director Quentin Tarantino discovered

this next act he hired them to perform in his

movie Kill Bill. It's an all girl Japanese band

called, are you ready? ..... The 5.6.7.8's!

These Fugiyama mamas play a bitchin'

blend of garage, surf-rock and

frenzied psychobilly.

To sum it up, the 5.6.7.8's
are a perfect 10.

Check out this red hot number

as the girls shoot the curl on

"Pinball Party," a high velocity

retro surf rock instrumental

from their 1993 album

 Can't Help It. Shady sez

these Kamikaze cuties
put down the most

dangerous sound

since Link Wray!

"Pinball Party"
The 5.6.7.8's 

(from 1993 album
Can't Help It)

 ALICE IN CHAINS 

 MEYTAL COHEN 

To wind up this musical journey though

the history of girl power zingers and

zongs, I am proud to present a pair of

viral YouTubers. You might remember

Chris Griffin's 2017 hosting stint on the

old blog, SDMM, in which he introduced

German drummer girl Sina. Now meet

Meytal Cohen, an Israeli-American

heavy metal drummer and founding

member of the band Meytal. Watch

and listen as Meytal tickles the skins

to "Man In The Box," the 1991 hit by

Seattle alt-rock grungers Alice in Chains!

"Man In The Box" - Alice In Chains

drum cover by Meytal Cohen

 KISS 

 AMI KIM 

Last, but not least, check out the tricky sticks of South Korean drum sensation Ami Kim. I can picture Gene Simmons' bloody tongue wagging as Ami beats her kit into submission doing the Kiss Klassik "War Machine." The woman's got Seoul! (Sorry about that, Chief!)

"War Machine" - Kiss

drum cover by Ami Kim

Well Beaver, I hope

you learned something

today about girls.

    Wull, yeah...

    I learned that I like

    girls a lot more

    than I thought!