SCREAM QUEENS: SHADY'S LEADING LADIES! Vol. 1: Guys and Dolls... (and a Cute Little Pup)

I am..... Dracula!

You might remember my band, The Twilights, and our hit record

"Transylvania 6-5000." It was big in our neck of the woods.

Tonight, as the full moon rises, I  command  invite you to

join me as I introduce two charming young ladies.

(Well, one of them is more than 500 years old.)

They hope to win your heart with the songs

they play on S-P-M-M Retrosonic Radio.

I BITE. I SUCK.

THEY DON'T.

Now let us meet and greet these

Shady Bunch deejay apprentices.

Part 1: Wake Up Maggie ...

(Your New Dog's a Killer K-9)

COLD OPEN:

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW!

"Puppy Love" - Barbara Lewis (Feb./Mar. 1964,

highest chart pos. #38 Hot 100 & R&B/#58 Cash Box)

Kicking-off my part of the show,

that was soul singer Barbara Lewis

and "Puppy Love." Released in the

fall of 1963 around the time of the

JFK assassination, Barbara's record

was a crossover hit that made the

top 40 on both the pop and the

R&B chart in late winter, 1964. 

Hello! I'm

Maggie Glenn,

 a single gal, career journalist

and the main character of 

Good Boy...

a 2020 episode of the Hulu

horror anthology TV series

Into The Dark.

 Here's my deal. After effectively placing a glass ceiling directly

over my head and noticing how much it pissed me off, my weasel

boss recommended that I get myself an emotional support dog. 

I found an incredibly cute pup named Reuben...

 a cross-breed between a Dachshund and a Terrier. 

At first, all was well, but ooops! - that doggie in the window...

the one with the waggly tail... turned out to be a killer canine! 

That's right, friends and neighbors. You see, Reuben, or "Reubie," as I call him,

will attack and kill anyone who upsets me, stresses me out or tries to hurt me.

Reuben's got my back... and my misogynist boss's throat in his jowls. 

Now that you've read my

Facebook profile, I want to

welcome you to the new

Shady's Place series

Scream

Queens

and my segment entitled

Wake Up Maggie...
Your New Dog's

a Killer K-9!

The songs I'm playing tell you about my mis-adventures in pet ownership.

Remember what they say: there are no bad dogs... just bad owners. 

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW! 

Excuse me a sec. Drop it, Reuben! I said drop it! Oops, too late. He just swallowed

my best friend's nose. Bad dog! Yep, you should see what happens when a date gets

too frisky with me. It's rowdy Reubie to the rescue! Watch out boy, he'll chew you up.

Here he comes. He's a "Maneater." More on the story from Daryl Hall & John Oates! 

"Maneater" - Daryl Hall And John Oates (Dec. 1982/Jan. 1983,

highest chart pos. #1 Hot 100 & Cash Box)

You just saw Daryl Hall and

John Oates doing "Maneater,"

their early 80s chart-topping

hit, and my rowdy rover

Reubie's favorite song.

Well I'll be doggone, my part

of the show is over before I got

a chance to tell you how Reubie

dealt with my money-grubbing

landlord. Maybe next time

when I return to sing the

bow-wow blues on

 

Wake Up Maggie...

Your New Dog's

a Killer K-9!

exclusively here at Shady's Place. 

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW! 

To play me off, here's Rod Stewart to sing my theme song, "Maggie May,"

voted one of Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Songs of All Time. For now, this is

Maggie Glenn along with my killer K-9 Reuben, saying goodbye and take care! 

"Maggie May" - Rod Stewart

(Sept./Oct. 1971, highest chart pos. #1 Hot 100 & Cash Box) 

 

Fangtastic job, Maggie.

I'd like to have you for

dinner sometime soon.

Until then, I'll try to

satisfy my craving

with Adam's apple...

but I'm afraid

your little

hellhound

might beat

me to it.

Hey, Drac --- BITE ME! On second thought... don't. 

Count Dracula, you are so lame. You are nothing but a buzz kill,

a washed up has-been. I dated you in the 18th century. Even then,

you were nothing to write home about, and look at you now -

over the hill. You frighten no one... not even a child. Reuben

the dog is scarier than you. Casper the Friendly Ghost is scarier.

Macaulay Culkin is scarier. The Pillsbury Doughboy is scarier.

The Geico Gecko is scarier, you old puff of smoke...

you shriveled up caped cretin!

Part 2: Hello Dolly...

(Goodbye Blood)

Hello to one and all. I am Ghost Doll Nadja.

... the cute, cuddly, potty-mouth ghost/doppelganger mini-me doll

that belongs to the Romani vampire Nadja of Antipaxos on

What We Do In The Shadows, the FX mockumentary

 comedy horror TV series set on Staten Island.

I will now turn this drab affair into an

out-and-out Balkan blowout as I

bring you my segment called

Party Doll Nadja.

As the Ghost of Nadja, I am more than 500 years old, but I don't look a day over 18.

That is because I have inhabited this cute little doll.

 

 Yes, it is true. I have the ability to inhabit people, animals

and even inanimate objects like Shady Del Knight.

 Inhabiting is what I do. Inhabiting is a hard habit to break. 

I am already getting hundreds of song requests, but only have time

to play three. I am well versed in popular music. Since I have been

around for centuries, I was there at the very start of rock & roll

...the big bang we now refer to as "Milli Vanilli." 

Back by popular demand,

here are the LA-based

Cristea siblings, the

rocking metal band

that adopted the

stage name Liliac,

the Romanian word

for "bat." You see...

their mother and

father come from

Nadja's neck of the

woods - Transylvania.

They "lived" within

spitting distance of

Castle Dracula. 

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW! 

Experience the excitement as Liliac covers a song made popular in 1988

by Joan Jett And The Blackhearts-- "I Hate Myself For Loving You!" 

"I Hate Myself For Loving You" - Joan Jett

And The Blackhearts cover by Liliac (Feb. 2021)

As I told you, I once dated count Dracula. I also dated

this handsome devil... and he was a lot more fun.

In fact, he sang me a song in one of his movies!

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW! 

Here's Elvis the Pelvis in a scene from King Creole crooning- "Lover Doll!"

"Lover Doll" - Elvis Presley (scene from July, 1958, film King Creole)

Times have changed in

the old country. Romania

today has thriving dance-

pop, hip hop, rock and

metal scenes. Romanian

guitar wizard and music

producer Andrei Cerbu

has several YouTube

channels devoted to

those and other genres

featuring electrifying

performances by

young artists like

the one I picked

to conclude

my segment.

CLICK TO START

THE VIDEO NOW!

Behold Rockmina, the banshee frontwoman of Andrei Cerbu's band

The Voodoo Child, performing live at a blues festival in north-eastern

Romania at the crossroads of Central and Eastern Europe, doing

a killer cover of Led Zep's "Rock And Roll." Now this is your

Ghostess With the Mostest, your Romanian Raggedy Ann

Ghost Nadja. See you next time on

Party Doll Nadja!

"Rock And Roll - Led Zeppelin cover by

The Voodoo Child feat. Rockmina (Aug. 2021 perf.

at the Suceava Blues Festival in Bukovina, Romania) 

Dawn is breaking and

our show draws to a close.

Fangs for being here tonight.

 I hope you enjoyed the post.

For me, it was much more

pleasant than a stake.

I'll be lurking for you,

blud, so watch your

back and your neck.

Fare thee well!

 SCREAM QUEENS 

 Howl of Fame: 

 LEADING LADY 

 JUNE KENNEY IN 

 EARTH VS. THE SPIDER (1958) 

Beth Boland's ADRENALINE RUSH..... Vol. 1: Cold as Ice is More Than a Feeling!

BOOTH ANNOUNCER GARY OWENS:

...and the cow was returned to its rightful owner.

And that's the latest from S-P-M-M news...
fast, up-to-the-minute, completely fake
and proud of it. Now stand by for

 BETH BOLAND'S 
 ADRENALINE RUSH 

on the station that's #1 for music and fun - S-P-M-M!

PIGGYBACK COLD OPEN:

CLICK TO PLAY FIRST VIDEO

AND AT 8 SEC MARK, CLICK
TO START SECOND VIDEO!

"Some Guys Have All The Luck" - Rod Stewart

(Sept./Oct. 1984, highest chart pos.

#10 Hot 100/#16 Cash Box)

You know what they say. Spare the rod, spoil the show.
I say... let there be Rod!

That was British lightning rod Rod Stewart feeling his

oats and knocking me out with one of his top 10 hits

of the 80s, "Some Guys Have All The Luck." 

CLICK TO START VIDEO!

Hi, I'm Beth Boland from the

NBC TV series Good Girls.

Think I look like Joan from

Mad Men? I get that a lot.

I'm an average suburban

housewife and mother who

leads a secret life. In fact,

my girl pals and I have a

lot of secrets. Is our show

a comedrama or is it a

dramedy? Who's to say?

This I can tell you. It's a

hoot, a guilty pleasure.

You need to watch, and

girlfriend, here's a hint...

wait till you lay eyes

on my "Loverboy."

Here's Billy Ocean!

"Loverboy" - Billy Ocean

(Jan./Feb. 1985, highest chart pos. #2 Hot 100,

#4 Cash Box/#20 R&B, perf. on American Bandstand)

That was loverboy Billy Ocean, the Trinidad born,

England raised singer/songwriter, appearing on

American Bandstand and doing his top 3 hit.

Speaking of secrets... one of my

best kept is that I am moonlighting
as a Shady Bunch deejay here on

S-P-M-M Retrosonic Radio, and
and you're tuned to my very first

show! Here's the thing to remember:

Beth's bigger on beats than ballads.

The songs I will play are intended

to give you an Adrenaline Rush

that'll get you up on your feet,

out of your seat and rockin'

till you drop. Got it?

A little more about me.

CLICK TO

START VIDEO!

To make a long story short,

on Good Girls I went from

being an average play-by-

the-rules soccer mom to

gun toting gangster moll

in two shakes of a jiffy.

Don't ask 'cause I'm not

gonna tell! Let's just say

bad boy Rio gives this

  Good Girl everything 

she needs, honey... and

"Everything She Wants!" 

"Everything She Wants" - Wham!

(May/June 1985, highest chart pos.

#1 Hot 100 & Cash Box/#1 Canada) 

Topping the pop charts in the U.S. and Canada in the spring

of 1985, that was WHAM!... the English pop duo cosisting

of George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley. Meanwhile, that

smooth criminal Rio and that redheaded bombshell Beth

(that's me) make a dynamite duo every week on NBC's

Good Girls, so be sure to watch! 

BB - Beth Boland - keeping

you company and pumping

you full of adrenaline here

on S-P-M-M... where the

 classic rock hits just

keep on comin'!

CLICK TO

START VIDEO!

Ever since I started breaking

bad on Good Girls, people say

I'm cold as ice. Maybe so...

but it gets the job done.

Foreigner recorded a

song about it!

"Cold As Ice" - Foreigner

(Sept/Oct. 1977, highest chart pos.

#6 Hot 100/#10 Cash Box)

From 1977 that was "Cold As Ice," a hot one by Foreigner,

the part-English, part-American band that achieved most

of their hits on this side of the pond. That single brushed

the top 5 in the U.S. and made the top 10 in Canada.

CLICK TO START

THE VIDEO NOW!

If you're just tuning in I'm Beth,

Good Girl turned naughty and

lovin' it, and I'm playing the

classics of the 70s and 80s.

We're in the middle of a

7-in-a-row commercial-

free Adrenaline Rush

and to keep the juices

flowing here are--

Hall and Oates!

"Did It In A Minute"

- Daryl Hall And John Oates

(Apr./May 1982, highest chart pos.

#9 Hot 100/#10 Cash Box)

CLICK TO START VIDEO!

You just heard Daryl Hall

and John Oates doing it

right with "Did It In A

Minute," a top 10 hit

for the duo in 1982.

We're going for an

Adrenaline Rush

with one classic rock

nugget after another,

the good stuff from

the Good Girl on

S-P-M-M... your

station for pure

rock and roll!

"More Than A Feeling" - Boston

(Oct./Nov. 1976, highest chart pos.

#4 Cash Box/#5 Hot 100)

S-P-M-M... the station that never stops rockin'...

and that was a dose of FM rock nirvana from the

fall of '76-- Boston with "More Than A Feeling."

The song was the first single released from the

band's self-titled debut album. It spent 19 weeks

on the chart and is considered a classic rock staple.

"More Than A Feeling" made the Rock & Roll Hall

of Fame's list of 500 Songs That Shaped Rock & Roll

and Rolling Stone's list of 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW!

I've got more than a feeling I'm out of time and the show's over.

The clock on the wall proves it. I need to fly on outta here and

I'm going to do it on The Steve Miller Band's "Jet Airliner,"

a top five hit in the summer of '77. I give it to you straight,

and this is the real deal, the album version, not the edited,

sanitized single version played on ordinary radio stations.

I hope by now I've got you feeling that Adrenaline Rush.

Stick around. Coming up on the flip side of news, it's

those other Good Girls - Patti, Cindy & Jane - from

Good Girls Revolt. They'll be here with the second

edition of their S-P-M-M show Libbin' It Up with

The Good Girls, and I'll be back soon to give you

another Adrenaline Rush with classic rock of the

70s and 80s. Now this is Beth Boland saying

take care, watch your back, be good... and if

you can't be good... be careful. So long!

"Jet Airliner" - The Steve Miller Band

(May to July 1977, highest chart pos.

#3 Cash Box/#8 Hot 100)