Winning Hand - Vol. 5: Fuller House!

Welcome to Winning Hand:

FULLER HOUSE!

In this edition of the series I have four of a kind plus
an extra pair up my sleeve - a mix of originals and covers.
I am curious to know which version or versions you prefer.

I might be a wild card and

a joker... but I'm no poker.

Therefore, without further delay, I will introduce
the kings and queens of song in today's post.

Remember, ladies and gentlemen...

This is only an exhibition...
This is not a competition...
Please... no wagering.

 BRENDA LEE 

Nicknamed "Little Miss Dynamite,"

country, pop, rock & roll and rock-

abilly artist Brenda Lee was one of

the most successful female singers

of the 60s. In April, 1960,  Brenda's

single "Sweet Nothin's," written by

Ronnie Self, reached the top 3 on

Cash Box and #4 on Billboard.

 "Sweet Nothin's" - Brenda Lee 

 (Mar./Apr. 1960, highest chart pos. 

  #3 Cash Box/#4 Hot 100, perf. on 

 Dick Clark Saturday Night Beechnut Show) 

 CASI JOY 

Now here's a delightful cover of "Sweet Nothin's" performed

by a country artist from Kanas City who appeared on season 12

of The Voice. Meet zesty zinger Casi Joy (and her dog)!

 "Sweet Nothin's" - Brenda Lee cover by Casi Joy 

 (Mar. 2018) 

 WANDA JACKSON 

The next "Sweet Nothin's" cover is by rock & roll pioneer Wanda Jackson,

nicknamed The Queen of Rockabilly and The First Lady of Rockabilly.

Wanda released her version on the 1982 album Let's Have A Party.

 "Sweet Nothin's" - Wanda Jackson 

 (from 1982 album Let's Have A Party) 

 HELEN SHAPIRO 

In 1962 English sparrow Helen Shapiro released her debut album

containing covers of hits made famous by other artists. One of

the songs is a more than capable cover of "Sweet Nothin's."

 "Sweet Nothin's" - Helen Shapiro 

 (from 1962 album 'Tops' With Me) 

 FLEETWOOD MAC 

Released as the second single from Fleetwood Mac's best-selling,

chart-topping 1977 album Rumours, the song "Dreams" also

reached the #1 spot on the U.S. chart, the only single

by the band to reach the top spot.

"Dreams" - Fleetwood Mac (May/June 1977, highest chart pos. 

 #1 Hot 100 & Cash Box, from Feb. 1977 album Rumours) 

 THE CLASSIC ROCK SHOW 

Now enjoy this fine cover of "Dreams" by Jess Harwood

fronting the UK based tribute band The Classic Rock Show.

 "Dreams" - Fleetwood Mac cover 

 by The Classic Rock Show (Feb. 2020) 

I think these musical
kings and queens are aces!

Do you agree? 

Have a Shady day!

Toto's Top Tunes Time Tunnel - Vol. 4: Have I the Right (To Chew Your Slippers When You Leave the House)?

HEADPHONES ARE RECOMMENDED FOR LISTENING TO SPMM RADIO SHOWS.

BOOTH ANNOUNCER GARY OWENS:

...and the cow was returned to its rightful owner.

And that's the latest from S-P-M-M news...
fast, up-to-the-minute, completely fake
and proud of it. Now stand by for

 TOTO'S 

 TOP TUNES 

 T I M E  T U N N E L 

on the station that's #1 for music and fun - S-P-M-M!

PIGGYBACK COLD OPEN:

CLICK TO PLAY FIRST VIDEO.

AT 9 SEC. MARK, CLICK TO

START SECOND VIDEO!

"The Pied Piper" - Crispian St. Peters

(June/July 1966, highest chart pos. #4 Hot 100 & Cash Box)

Based on the German folklore fairy tale The Pied Piper of Hamelin, that was

"The Pied Piper" by English pop singer Crispian St. Peters, a cover of a song

penned and originally recorded by the American songwriting and performing

duo The Changin' Times. St. Pete made the song famous in the summer of '66

with a single that went top 5 in the U.S. and UK and topped the chart in Canada.

I'm a Cocker Spaniel, not the best of ratters,

but a loyal Dell rat, and it's all that matters.

Just ask my master Shady Del Knight.

Yes, folks, it's me - Toto Moto - The Hound

of Sound, your Musical Mutt, your All Nite

Satellite, the barker who put the "WOW!"

in bow-wow, and you've just entered my

Top Tunes Time Tunnel for another fun-

filled trip back to the sounds of the 60s.

I'm an English Cocker, and today's

Time Tunnel show is an all star
salute to UK recording artists.

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW!

All seven of these songs were hits in the U.S. but were waxed across the pond,
and I don't mean the one I just made on the floor in the hall. Let's lay the
foundation for this mini British Invasion by recalling  "The Bad Bad
Old Days" before Jerky Treats were invented-- The Foundations!

"In The Bad, Bad Old Days (Before You Loved Me)" - The Foundations
(Apr. 1969. highest chart pos. #26 Cash Box/#51 Hot 100)

Finishing in the Top 30 on Cash Box but missing the Top 50 on Billboard,

go figure, that was "In The Bad, Bad Old Days (Before You Loved Me),"

a groovy sound from the spring of '69 by the mixed race, mixed

nationality UK soul band The Foundations.

Shady's dog Toto Moto keeping you company in the

wee small hours of the morning here on S-P-M-M...

the station that's #1 for music and fun, and up next

The Hollies, an English pop-rock band known for

their glorious three part harmony and long string

of hits at home and stateside. Seems The Hollies

had more good songs than they knew what to do

with. In May of 1967 two of their singles were

released at the same time and the records

competed against each other. "Carrie-Anne"

made the top 10, eclipsing the Hollies

single on a different label that had

been released three weeks earlier. 

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW!

As a result, this song peaked near the bottom of the top 30 and shoulda gone

 higher. The Hollies now with a hit that missed-- "Pay You Back With Interest!"

"Pay You Back With Interest" - The Hollies

(June/July 1967, highest chart pos. #28 Hot 100/#29 Cash Box)

Those were the Hollies and their under-performing

single "Pay You Back With Interest," a record that

died on the vine when "Carrie-Anne" came long.

I thought I'd go out of my mind the fist time

I heard the guitar at the beginning of this

next British R&B Merseybeat record.

CLICK TO START
THE VIDEO NOW!

The sound was new, different, bold, and oh
so cool. Riding the U.S. chart the last three
months of '64, The Kinks-- "You Really Got Me!"

"You Really Got Me" - The Kinks

(Oct. to Dec. 1964, highest chart pos. #5 Cash Box/#7 Hot 100)

Ray Davies and his band of Kinks with "You Really Got Me,"

their first charting record in the U.S., a single that reached

the Top 10 on Billboard and the Top 5 on Cash Box.

If you're just tuning in, you're trapped inside

Toto's Top Tunes Time Tunnel. I'm your hairy

host, blog mascot Toto Moto of The Shady

Bunch, the platter playin' pooch who starts

from scratch and aims to fleas, and we're

in the middle of a 7-in-a-row commercial-

free cruise on S-P-M-M Retrosonic Radio.

Here's another UK record that was popular
in the fall of 1964, the same weeks that
the Kinks' song "You Really Got Me"
was hot. This one finished even
higher on the chart.

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW!

Meet The Honeycombs, a band with an unusual lineup that featured

Honey Lantree, one of the few female drummers in pop at the time.

The guys and a girl ask the musical question-- "Have I The Right?"

"Have I The Right?" - The Honeycombs

(Oct./Nov. 1964, highest chart pos. #4 Cash Box/#5 Hot 100)

The Honeycombs there with their first single and

the biggest hit of their career, the top 5 charting
"Have I The Right?" As a sad footnote, the band's
original lead singer Dennis D’Ell died in 2005
at the age of 61 and drummer Honey Lantree
died just before Christmas 2018 at age 75.

CLICK TO START

THE VIDEO NOW!

When a dog's gotta go, a dog's gotta go.
Shady forgot to put down a piddle pad
and-- "I Can't Control Myself!"

"I Can't Control Myself" - The Troggs

(Oct./Nov. 1966, highest chart pos. #38 Cash Box/#43 Hot 100)

Hovering around the Top 40 mark on Cash Box and Billboard, Reg Presley

and his rowdy band of English garage rockers The Troggs aka

The Troglodytes with "I Can't Control Myself."

Here it comes again - that feeling like I've

run out of time. I hope you enjoyed zooming

back to the past with me in Toto's Top Tunes

Time Tunnel. Stick around. Coming up on the

flip side of news it's Debbie the Dellette

hosting another music packed meeting

of the Top Hit Club of America,

CLICK TO START
THE VIDEO NOW!

And I'll be back before you can say cat scratch fever to spin another batch

of classic Sixties toe-tappers in my Top Tunes Time Tunnel. To play us off,

The Fortunes from late '65 and "Here It Comes Again." Now this is your

K-9 Kompadre, your Hi-Fi Fido, your Rover on the Radio, Toto Moto,

saying thanks for tuning in, be good and see you soon!

"Here It Comes Again" - The Fortunes

(Nov./Dec. 1965, highest chart pos. #27 Hot 100/#37 Cash Box)

Honoring Margaret on Her 109th Birthday

"A rose by
any other
name..."

This is an

important

date on the

Shady Dell

calendar.

Our dear friend

Margaret Schneider

...who for years inspired us as

"The Oldest Living Dell Rat"

...was born April 18, 1912,

109 years ago today.

Margaret's father built the

Shady Dell and the family

became its first occupants

when Margaret (right)

was one year old.

To celebrate Margaret's

birthday this year,

I posted five songs

I think she'd enjoy.

Perhaps she listened

to a few of them in

her early years.

 AVALON JAZZ BAND 

 ft. Tatiana Eva-Marie 

Tatiana

is a Swiss-born singer

raised in France and

currently living and

working in Brooklyn.

Over the last 7 years,

Tatiana has made a

name for herself as

founder and vocalist

of Avalon Jazz Band.

She and her band

specialize in 1930s

style swing and gypsy

jazz aka gypsy swing

aka hot club-style jazz,

a genre born in Paris

and a major part of the

French jazz scene that

 decade. The band also resurrects great songs

of the 40s and 50s.

 Let's begin with one

of their 50s covers,

"I Love Paris," a song

written by Cole Porter,

published in 1953 and

introduced in the musical

Can-Can. A line from the

song inspired the title of

the 1964 film Paris

When It Sizzles. 

 "I Love Paris (Cole Porter)" 

 Avalon Jazz Band feat. Tatiana Eva-Marie 

 (October 2014)  

Composed and first recorded in 1922, the song "Runnin' Wild" is best known

for the version performed by Marilyn Monroe in the 1959 comedy movie

Some Like It Hot. Here with their more than capable cover are

Tatiana Eva-Marie and the Avalon Jazz Band. 

 "Runnin' Wild (Some Like it Hot)" 

 Avalon Jazz Band feat. Tatiana Eva-Marie 

 (July 2015)  

Penned and published in 1932, "Fit as a Fiddle" was a hit for Fred Waring's

Pennsylvanians. Recorded many times since by artists that include

Doris Day, the song became most famous when it was featured

in the 1952 movie musical Singin' in the Rain. 

 "Fit As A Fiddle (Singin' In the Rain)" 

 Avalon Jazz Band feat. Tatiana Eva-Marie 

 (July 2016) 

Now here's an original song composed by Tatiana Eva-Marie as a way

of declaring her love for The Big Easy-- "Moon Over New Orleans." 

 "Moon Over New Orleans" 

 Avalon Jazz Band feat. Tatiana Eva-Marie 

 (March 2020) 

Written by Irving Berlin, the song 'Sunshine" was waxed by Bing Crosby

backed by Paul Whiteman and His Orchestra. Their single brushed

the top 5 on Billboard in 1928. Here's Avalon Jazz Band

with their sunny interpretation. 

 "Sunshine" 

 Avalon Jazz Band feat. Tatiana Eva-Marie 

 (July 2020)  

Happy 109th birthday, dear Margaret.

We love you and miss you!

Best of Bandstands in Foreign Lands - Vol. 14: JOIN THE COUNTRY CLUB!

Welcome to volume 14

of my globetrotting series

BANDSTANDS IN

FOREIGN LANDS!

I'm Shady Seaweed, here to

bring you more great music

performances that originated

from TV studios, big halls

and nightclubs in Europe

and other parts of the

world from the 1960s

through early 2000s. 

Join me for another exciting trip as we visit

BANDSTANDS IN

FOREIGN LANDS!

 THE 

 HINDLEY STREET 

 COUNTRY CLUB 

 (AKA HSCC) 

SOUTH AUSTRALIA

In this special edition of BIFL, I am pleased to bring

back for their third appearance at Shady's Place

The Hindley Street Country Club aka HSCC,

the world-renowned live studio cover band

from South Australia that I introduced last

year in my salute to Diversity and in my

Best of the Quarantunes post.

For their first performance of my Biffle special, HSCC

tackles The Jacksons' 1979 disco funk hit "Shake Your Body

(Down To The Ground)." Out front on lead vocals are the

"HSCC Bad Girls," Pina Del Re, Nikki Heuskes & Kat Jade. 

"Shake Your Body (Down To The Ground)" - Jacksons cover

by Hindley Street Country Club (Jan. 2021) 

Next Hindley Street Country Club covers "Stop Draggin. My Heart Around,"

the 1981 hit for Stevie Nicks co-written by Tom Petty, a recording that had

Petty singing on the chorus and bridge and his Heartbreakers band playing

on the track. The HSCC version features vocals by Lesley Williams and

guitar and vocals by Dusty Stephensen. 

"Stop Draggin. My Heart Around" - Stevie Nicks/Tom Petty

cover by The Hindley Street Country Club aka HSCC (May 2020)




Now here's the 1982 Michael McDonald classic "I Keep Forgettin'

(Every Time You're Near)" from his debut album If That's What It Takes.

Handling lead vocals this time for HSCC is Sarah Lloyde.

"I Keep Forgettin' (Every Time You're Near)" - Michael McDonald

cover by HSCC feat Sarah Lloyde (Nov. 2019)




Up next, the ever popular Nikki Heuskes singing lead for HSCC

doing what could be considered in the context of this post an

answer song to Michael McDonald's "I Keep Forgettin'."

Nikki's unforgettable as she covers Patrice Rushen's

1982 post-disco club hit "Forget Me Nots." 

"Forget Me Nots" - Patrice Rushen cover

by HSCC feat. Nikki Heuskes (Feb. 2020)




If you're just joining me, this is a special edition of my series

Bandstands in Foreign Lands, a salute to The Hindley Street

Country Club, the fine cover band from the land down under.

Here again is Sarah Lloyde on lead vocals doing her best

Ann Wilson as she fronts the band singing "Alone," the

chart-topping single from Heart's 1987 album Bad Animals. 

"Alone" - Heart cover by HSCC feat Sarah Lloyde

(Jan. 2020)




You met Kat Jade at the top of the show as one of the "HSCC Bad Girls."

Kat, a talented songstress from Adelaide, South Australia, appeared

on Season 3 of The Voice Australia. Here's Kat singing lead as

HSCC pays tribute to the late, great Bill Withers doing

his signature song "Ain't No Sunshine." 

"Ain't No Sunshine" - Bill Withers cover by HSCC

feat. Kat Jade (Aug. 2020)




In the summer of 1977 "Best Of My Love" was a #1 charting hit

 for the Chicago-based R&B/Disco girl group The Emotions.

To wrap up this Biffle trip, here's our featured Aussie band

with a slightly different lineup of the "HSCC Bad Girls" -

Pina Del Re, Nikki Heuskes and Lesley Williams. 

"Best Of My Love" - The Emotions cover by HSCC

feat. Pina Del Re, Nikki Heuskes & Lesley Williams

(Apr. 2020)

I hope you enjoyed volume 14 of

BANDSTANDS IN

FOREIGN LANDS.

Stay tuned for the next edition

coming soon!

Natural Hy - Volume 5: Pips Love Call

HEADPHONES ARE RECOMMENDED FOR SPMM RADIO BLOGCASTS.

BOOTH ANNOUNCER GARY OWENS:

...and the cow was returned to its rightful owner.

And that's the latest from S-P-M-M news...
fast, up-to-the-minute, completely fake
and proud of it. Now stand by for

 NATURAL HY 

on the station that's #1 for music and fun - S-P-M-M!

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW!

(COLD SHOW OPEN)

"Back In My Arms Again" - The Supremes
(May/June 1965, highest chart pos.
#1 Hot 100/#1 Cash Box/#1 R&B)

The big sound... the bold sound... the Holland-Dozier-Holland sound...

the Motown sound of The Supremes blasting us off the launch pad

and sending us into orbit as we take to the sky on a Natural Hy.

Calling all my beats, beards, Buddhist cats,

big time spenders, money lenders, tee-

totalers, elbow benders, hog callers,

home run hitters, finger poppin’

daddies and cool babysitters.

For all my carrot tops, lollipops

and extremely delicate gum drops.

It's your pal on the radio, Hyski

‘O Roonie McVouti ‘O Zoot -
“The South Philadelphia Kid” -

"The Potentate of The Keystone

State." Callin' uptown, downtown,
crosstown - here, there, everywhere.

Your man with the plan, on the scene

with the record machine. Hey you

midnight movers and uptown

groovers, knock me your lobes

— are you ready for this?

CLICK TO START VIDEO NOW!

If you dig it big. If you dig it bold, then dig this, another super slab

to keep you flyin' Hy... the grooviest record Cher never made.

Burnin' up the boss lines in April of 1965, it's April Young

and-- "Gonna Make Him My Baby!"

"Gonna Make Him My Baby" - April Young

(April./May 1965, uncharted nationally but reached
top 20 @ WIBG Philadelphia, #27 @ WARM Wilkes-Barre,
#36 @ WSBA Lancaster-York-Harrisburg

and #53 @ WMCA New York City)

Sounding so much like Cher, that was April Young, wife of famed record producer

 Jerry Ross, with "Gonna Make Him My Baby," a Spectorian Wall-of-Sound

 production that caught fire in Philly and up and down the East Coast in

April and May of '65. The record was so hot in the Delaware Valley

that April was dubbed The Daughter of Wibbage-land, and her

power platter rode high on the surveys of radio stations in

other mid-Atlantic burgs as well. Sadly, April Young

never grew old. She was only in her 40s when

she took ill and died in 1989.

CLICK TO START

THE VIDEO NOW!

Slowing it down on Natural Hy

with one of the great groups to

come out of Philly. These guys

had a string of hits from the late

60s to early 70s and helped shape

"The Sound of Philadelphia."

Here now are The Delfonics

and - "Break Your Promise."

"Break Your Promise" - The Delfonics

(Sept./Oct. 1968, highest chart pos. #12 R&B,

#35 Hot 100/#46 Cash Box)

CLICK TO START

THE VIDEO NOW!

That was the ice cool sound of Philly's Phinest,

The Delfonics, with a sweet and soulful ballad

that brushed the top 10 on the R&B chart in

the fall of '68, "Break Your Promise." If you're

just tuning in... you're on a Natural Hy with

me, Hy Lit, on the greatest little station in

the nation, S-P-M-M. Gentlemen... start

your engines. Keeping it mellow, from

the Motor City, the group best known

for the early 70s crossover hits "Whatcha

See Is Whatcha Get" and "In The Rain."

The Dramatics now with a groove

from '75-- "Tune Up!"

"Tune Up" - The Dramatics

(Feb. 1975, highest chart pos. #74 R&B)

The Dramatics of Detroit there with a smooth groove

from 1975, a little thing called "Tune Up."

CLICK TO START

THE VIDEO NOW!

You're listening to Natural Hy with yours truly

Hyski, on S-P-M-M... where all the cool oldies

come to play... and we're in the middle of a

7-in-a-row block party. It's a family affair...

Gladys Knight And The Pips, a group with

talent to spare and great records to burn.

This one, for instance - impossibly cool -

yet it went to waste, hidden away to die

on the vine as the B side of a poor selling

single. From '64, listen to the sweet sound,

the soulful sound, the groovy sound of

The Pips and their-- "Love Call!"

"Love Call" - Gladys Knight And The Pips

(July 1964, B side of "What Shall I Do")

Gladys Knight and the Pips and their "Love Call," a little known

and seldom heard B side that shoulda been, coulda been

and woulda been a hit... if only...

Hy Lit of The Shady Bunch

keeping you company here

on S-P-M-M... the station

with personality.

CLICK TO START

THE VIDEO NOW!

Here's hot wax that knocks me out

cold...a sound that's guaranteed

 to keep you on a Natural Hy.

Quite rightly it's from Hi Records

and soul man Syl Johnson--

"Take Me To The River!"

"Take Me To The River" - Syl Johnson

(June/July 1975, highest chart pos. #7 R&B/#48 Hot 100/#59 Cash Box)

One of the fine artists on the roster of Hi Records, the Memphis-

based soul and rockabilly label... that was bluesy R&B great

Syl Johnson doing the biggest hit of his recording career,

"Take Me To The River."

Shady Del Knight will take me to task

if my show runs overtime. That being

the case, it's time for me to spin my

last record and hit the road, Jack.

It was a groove having you here

as together we took to the sky on

a Natural Hy. Hey, stick around.

Coming up on the flip side of

news it's everybody's favorite

K-9 companion, my pal Toto

Moto, to welcome you inside

his Top Tunes Time Tunnel,

and I'll be back soon with

another stack of boss goldens...

every spinner a certified winner.

I wanna see your face in the place

-- Shady's Place -- so keep your

ear here on S-P-M-M retro radio!

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW!

To play us off, Big Al... Mr. Downing... a man who did it all and did it well.

He rocked. He rolled. He sang the blues, gospel, country, R&B and Disco,

and that brings us to this killer from the mid 70s at the height of the Disco

craze, "I'll Be Holding On," a song that spent 3 weeks atop the Dance chart.

Now this is Hy Lit reminding you to be good, be nice, be kind,

maintain your cool, don't be nobody's fool. Later!

"I'll Be Holding On" - Al Downing

(Feb./Mar. 1975, highest chart pos. #1 Disco/Dance,

#31 R&B, #85 Hot 100)

It's Standing Room Only at NBC Studios in Burbankas Johnny Welcomes Rappin' Rodney Dangerfield!

My first guest is a gentleman you all know.

He's a frequent visitor to The Tonight Show.

He has his own nightclub called Dangerfield's and is
currently headlining at the Trop in Vegas. He's co-

starring in the new movie comedy Caddyshack

opening in theaters July 25th. Please welcome

a man who gets absolutely no respect...

Rodney Dangerfield!

(BAND PLAYS AND AUDIENCE CLAPS AND CHEERS)

Whatta crowd! Whatta crowd!

But I'm tellin' ya I had a rough week, ya know?
That's the story of my life - no respect!

I had it rough as a kid, too. My brother was
always complaining about being an only child.

(BA-DUM BUMP)

I was a lonely kid, so lonely.

I had an imaginary friend.

He dumped me!

(BA-DUM BUMP)

Born to lose. That's me. I was the black sheep
of the family. My mother put me up for adoption.
I was 32, for cryin' out loud!

(BA-DUM BUMP)

I'm tellin' ya, nothin' goes right for me.
I bought an artificial plant. It died!

(BA-DUM BUMP)

I returned it to the store.
The clerk told me I over-watered it!

(BA-DUM BUMP)

No respect, I tell ya. The other day I had lunch at my
neighborhood greasy spoon. The food was terrible.
They had a buffet. Instead of "all you can eat"

the sign said "all you can keep down!"

(BA-DUM BUMP)

Who am I tryin' to kid? I never fit in, always getting
kicked around. My neighborhood baseball team
picked me to play first base. I went home
covered in dirt and cleat marks!

(BA-DUM BUMP)

My life is boring. I went to my priest and confessed
all the naughty things I'd done. I could hear him
snoring on the other side of the partition!

(BA-DUM BUMP)

No respect, I tell ya... no respect at all!

Great crowd. Great crowd.

Where'd Johnny find you people?

It's nice to be invited to this shindig.

Now while I take a break, get out my

hanky and mop the flop sweat from

my forehead... you watch this video.

"Rappin' Rodney" - Rodney Dangerfield

(Oct. 1983, highest chart pos. #83 Hot 100)

I'll tell ya, it must be nice to be a winner.

I've been on a losing streak all my life.

I don't get any respect, no respect at all.

The other day I went to my doctor,

doctor Vinnie Boom Batz.

I don't trust that quack. I told him I was having

migraines. He insisted on a rectal exam!

(BA-DUM BUMP)

He's the only doctor I know who takes

his clothes off along with the patient!

(BA-DUM BUMP)

My wife. Don't get me started because she's

another one. That shrew's been giving me

the cold shoulder for years. I told her

I'd like us to spice up our marriage.
She bought me a pepper mill!

(BA-DUM BUMP)

No respect, I tell ya. The other day my wife

caught me in bed with another woman.

She cried. They were tears of joy!

(BA-DUM BUMP)

It ain't easy bein' me... you kiddin'? I joined a dating
service and told 'em I wanted a petite brunette
with a sense of humor. They matched me
with Pee Wee Herman!

(BA-DUM BUMP)

I'm lonely, I tell ya. One time I broke down

and hired a hooker. When we were done

she felt so sorry for me that she gave

me double my money back!

(BA-DUM BUMP)

Hey, you guys have been great. Be sure to leave
a little something for your waitress and I'll be
seeing you at Dangerfield's, okay?

Remember, be kind to your web-footed friends,
'cause that duck may be somebody's mother...
or one of my exes.

(BA-DUM BUMP)

Good night everybody!

 HAPPY APRIL FOOLS' DAY!