Tom Anderson with you today to welcome back
my very dear friend Kathleen Mae Schneider.
Kathleen is here to remind us that this is
a
special day on the Shady Dell calendar.
It's time for us to remember and honor
her mother Margaret Schneider on the
anniversary of her birth. In her later
life Margaret became
a celebrity on
Shady Dell Music & Memories and
earned the nickname "The Oldest
Living Dell Rat."
Margaret's father
built the Shady Dell
in the early part
of the 20th century
and Margaret and
her family were the
the first people
to reside at the estate.
Now, here's
Kathleen with this year's birthday
tribute to her mother Margaret.
An Amazing Life
A Daughter's
Birthday Tribute
to Her Mother
by Kathleen
Mae Schneider
"Life is not measured by the number of
breaths we take, but by the moments
that take our breath away."
- Maya Angelou
Pointing to the collaged "104" on the wall
above Mother's chair a few months before
her last birthday, a neighbor chuckled, "Wow,
it won't be long before we see "105" up here!
What's your secret, Margaret? How come
you've lived so long?" Mother flashed a
look across the room to me and replied,
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe God's just
keeping me going to pester my kids".
It was true that we "kids" (retirees all!)
had been through much with her those
last six years. However, instead of feeling
"pestered", I felt truly blessed to be one
of this sweet woman's caregivers.
In honor of the anniversary of Mother's birth 107 years ago on this day,
I want to share just a few of her pictures and memories that she gave me
during that time she referred to as "borrowed". We had many both
poignant and happy sessions as we looked at these photographs
together. Because she remained in sound mind and strong
spirit, she often had stories to go with them.
MARGARET SCHNEIDER'S BIRTHPLACE
This unassuming house where Mother was born on April 18, 1912, still stands
right along the main street in Violet Hill, York County, PA., at the base of the hill
where the Shady Dell is located. My grandparents operated a small general store
on the first floor at the time of her birth. Since the house has since been divided
into apartments, it looks vastly different than when the Brown family lived there.
MARGARET (FRONT ROW, FAR RT.) AND HER SIBLINGS
AND COUSIN ON THE SHADY DELL PORCH
The picture above was taken around 1914, and Mother's personality already shines
forth as a happy and contented two-year-old. She sits on her older sister's lap
along with the newest Brown family's baby, Mildred. Some of her siblings
and a decidedly un-photogenic cousin also pose for the camera. Mother
would have moved with her large family into the newly-built Shady
Dell house probably the year before, in 1913.
RECIPE FOR LONGEVITY?
Mother credited her father's homemade cough medicine for her survival at age
six from the world's first pandemic, the Spanish Influenza of 1918. Note the
list of ingredients contains turpentine - making true in Mother's case
"That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger."
(BELOW)
Nine-year-old Margaret Brown stands for her 1921 Violet Hill School
group portrait, smiling sweetly among the very classmates who cruelly
bullied her because of her father's less-than-savory reputation.
The teachers don't appear much better.
Nine-year-old Margaret Brown stands for her 1921 Violet Hill School
group portrait, smiling sweetly among the very classmates who cruelly
bullied her because of her father's less-than-savory reputation.
The teachers don't appear much better.
Mother's ever-present large dark bow identifies her, standing to the left of the very tall
girl with a dark sweater in the 5th row. "At least SHE was nice to me," Mother said.
Mother's shy younger sister, Mildred, with delicate features and also wearing a
large hair bow, stands in the 4th row, second from the left. Ethel, the eldest of
the Brown sisters in the picture, is 6th from the left in the next to last row,
looking none-too-happy about having her picture taken. I wonder
whether the two older girls to her left with the cocked heads and
formidable come-hither expressions were her friends or rivals!
The "Daughters of the Dell" (the Brown sisters)
can be seen better at right in this detail cropped
from the group shot. Mildred is in the first row,
far left. Margaret is in the second row, far right.
Ethel is in the back row, second from right.
Mother was fourteen and rapidly growing
into a beautiful young woman when
this picture of her was taken with
her dog named "Tiny", in Florida.
into a beautiful young woman when
this picture of her was taken with
her dog named "Tiny", in Florida.
The Brown family ended up in a
"tourist" camp in Miami after losing
their Shady Dell home to bankruptcy.
The picture shows Mother next to one
of the small wooden cabins built by
the locals to contain new arrivals.
They replaced the temporary tents
belonging to the surge of "Tin Can"
migrants who poured into the
Miami community, seeking a
better life during the 1920s'
Florida homesteading boom.
"tourist" camp in Miami after losing
their Shady Dell home to bankruptcy.
The picture shows Mother next to one
of the small wooden cabins built by
the locals to contain new arrivals.
They replaced the temporary tents
belonging to the surge of "Tin Can"
migrants who poured into the
Miami community, seeking a
better life during the 1920s'
Florida homesteading boom.
The name of the group comes from the 5-gallon tin cans of fuel stowed on
early automobiles because there were few "filling stations" to service them.
Once there, my grandparents, like some of the other migrants, discovered
that the long distance "deeds" they had bought were to land that either
didn't exist or were just swamps with snakes and alligators.
The Browns didn't even stay a year!
early automobiles because there were few "filling stations" to service them.
Once there, my grandparents, like some of the other migrants, discovered
that the long distance "deeds" they had bought were to land that either
didn't exist or were just swamps with snakes and alligators.
The Browns didn't even stay a year!
In this picture Mother is
Sweet Sixteen! Her father
died soon after returning North.
Her mother and some of her
siblings dispersed to other cities,
but Margaret decided to stay in
York, where she lived with an
older brother and his wife, and
got a job in a sewing factory
that made coats.
Sweet Sixteen! Her father
died soon after returning North.
Her mother and some of her
siblings dispersed to other cities,
but Margaret decided to stay in
York, where she lived with an
older brother and his wife, and
got a job in a sewing factory
that made coats.
Here Mother is held in my father's
arms. She met Ralph Schneider,
the love of her life, when she was
16 and he was 23. They dated for
six years before they married,
often taking excursions to the
beach with Mother's many
siblings and their families.
BATHING BEAUTIES
In the picture above, Mother, standing second from the right, poses with sisters
and members of her extended family at Bay Shore, NJ. Victorian covered-up
beach fashion was now obviously passé, judging by the women's swim suits
that left nothing to the imagination! Hubba, hubba....!!
and members of her extended family at Bay Shore, NJ. Victorian covered-up
beach fashion was now obviously passé, judging by the women's swim suits
that left nothing to the imagination! Hubba, hubba....!!
I laughed when I found this
unsigned "Heart Trouble"
postcard from the nineteen-
twenties in Mother's attic.
If asked to visualize "Washington, D.C.", "women" and "wall"
at the same time, one probably would never imagine this:
THE CHARLESTON
Mother told me that when she and my father dated they regularly danced
"the Charleston" which was all the rage at the time. I found this picture online
while researching it. Apparently the gentleman on this picture is a senator
from Charleston, South Carolina, and he and the young ladies on the wall
demonstrate the proper groove needed for the dance by the same name.
"the Charleston" which was all the rage at the time. I found this picture online
while researching it. Apparently the gentleman on this picture is a senator
from Charleston, South Carolina, and he and the young ladies on the wall
demonstrate the proper groove needed for the dance by the same name.
On March 30, 1934, my mother
and father, Mr. and Mrs. Ralph
N. Schneider, posed after their
marriage in Harrisburg, PA.
They had no honeymoon
because this was during
the Great Depression and
they had to go to work
the next day!
Within a few years, the Schneider
family included two children:
James Ralph and Betty Jane.
The picture at left was taken
February 18, 1947, two years
after Mother miraculously
survived a near-death bout
with typhoid fever. Doctors
claimed the illness left her
unable to have any more
children, but in this picture,
Margaret triumphantly holds
her youngest child, one-and-
a-half-month-old Kathleen Mae.
10-year-old Betty, on the right,
was happy to have a little sister,
but 12-year-old Jim, mugging
for the camera, not so much.
He wanted a brother!
The years went by, we three
grew up and gave Mother 6
grandchildren and 5 great-
grandchildren, who continued
to be sources of joy for her
after my father died in 1980.
Fast forward to this picture of the same four of us taken a few years ago -
a true role reversal if ever there was one. Here is Margaret with her
"kids"/caregivers. Do we look like we're being pestered?
MAMA AND ME
Happy Birthday, dear Mama! Thank you for your strength and long life,
and the 72 birthdays you were by my side. I will carry your wonderful
stories and caring ways in my heart as long as I live. As you taught
me, I will share them like all good things that come my way,
especially here where Tom has given me the space to do so.
me, I will share them like all good things that come my way,
especially here where Tom has given me the space to do so.
I love you more than words can express.
Your family history is wonderful, friend Shady. I wish you and your beautiful family all the best. Love, cat.
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by, cat! Shady and I are both thankful for the good start we had growing up, and we are learning more all the time about our families' histories.
DeleteHe and I were born in the same town, our parents were of the same generation, and as you can see, we both had an older brother, so we have a lot in common.
Happy spring to you, cat. We hope to see you here again soon!
How wonderful to have all those pictures and years with your mom. You were blessed.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, Starting Over! After Mother passed away, I found new-to-me caches of old photos and letters from all stages of her life. It will probably take the rest of mine to sort through them and get them archived!
ReplyDeleteI surely do treasure the time I was given to have my mother with me - from my birth and my dependence on her, right through her last days, when I was there to take care of her.
Thank you for reading my birthday tribute to her. Have a great week!
Some great pictures. Your mother was right in time for the Roaring '20s. Looks like she was a bit of a flapper.
ReplyDeleteHah! She was a flapper indeed, Kirk! Although I always knew her to be shy and reserved, she often described her dating days to me, showing she had another side to her personality when younger. She and my dad even demonstrated a few Charleston dance moves for me when I was little.
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh at the sight of my parents dancing, crisscrossing their hands over the knees, followed by small shuffles and kicks. I still have an original beaded purse with the requisite fringes that my father gave my mother while they were dating, that fits right in with the fashion of that time - dresses with a whole lotta fringes that swayed with every movement!! :)
Thanks for taking a look at Mother's birthday's post today, Kirk, and commenting. Have a good holiday!
Dear Kathleen. It is so good to see you here again, and I have enjoyed the photos of your family! The school picture is really something with the children of various ages featured. I know that many smaller towns have a large school with elementary and high school combined. The girls did wear very large bows, didn't they? Your mother was very beautiful, even then.
ReplyDeleteThe wedding photo of your parents is very nice. I remember that some of the photos in the 30's and 40's seemed so serious-they didn't smile much. Photos of my grandmother are so serious, but she was always smiling as she greeted us at her door when we went to visit.
I love old photos, but, I think my favorite picture here is the more current one of your mother, you, and your brother and sister. It almost says, "Here we are together again, and, we are still loving and having a wonderful time!"
My mother will be 94 in July. I plan to make a trip to Kansas soon, and start celebrating with her and my sister. Your Birthday tribute is so inspiring, Kathleen! I hope you are getting along really well! You have the best memories of your dear mother. Take care, and have a Happy Easter!♥
Hi Suzanne! I'm glad you like the old pictures as much as I love sharing them.
DeleteI actually attended a two-room school until 4th grade, when an addition was built that also housed grades 5 and 6. We kids had to work hard to concentrate on our assignments while the teacher focused on the other half of the room. Having 8 grades under one roof must have been tough, but our Amish neighbors wouldn't think of doing it any other way!
Ironically, the last several years of my career, I taught art to "multi-age" classes as well as those with students in just one grade. It was quite a challenge for me to have two different lesson plans going on at the same time, and I often wished I could go back in time and observe how my first two elementary grade teachers did it! My administrator at the time promoted this as the latest and best NEW thing in education. I dared not say it, but I guessed "Nothing new under the sun" applied!
Mother laughed every time we looked at her childhood pictures and she told me how much she loved those big bows. I just wonder how they stayed in place on windy days and at recess. She is wearing one on nearly all of the pictures of her as a little girl. As kids say today, She thought they were "the bomb"!
One of the first things I researched when starting to write my family history were the serious facial expressions and rigid body language on people in old photos. It's interesting to learn that there are several reasons for that.
One was quite simply that many folks back then had bad or missing teeth due to poor diet and/or non- existent dental hygiene. It was best not to show those smiles! Another reason was that smiling was thought to make one appear foolish or mentally challenged, and in early photographs, people wanted to appear intelligent, dignified and sophisticated. All that changed with the advent of motion pictures, with movie stars who smiled boldly and even seductively at the camera. Then it became acceptable, and is probably the reason my mother's beach pictures show everyone smiling "fashionably"!
Mother always told doctors and visitors, "I know I have three kids who love me." That was never more true than when the four of us posed for that picture you mentioned. She was the linchpin of our family, and our anchor in the rough seas of life!
I'll think of you in July when you spend your mother's 94th birthday with her in Kansas. I'm sure you and your sister will find special ways to show how much you love her, and she will have the best gift ever by having you two at her side.
It will be a visit you will always treasure, and like it was for me, a watershed time of your life. The memories you make together will bring much happiness for the rest of your lives.
Thank you for your visit, and for writing such a warm and friendly comment. I appreciate it very much, Suzanne, and also hope you have a Happy Easter and spring.
What wonderful photos. All mine were burned in a wildfire so I enjoy looking at others when posted.
ReplyDeleteAdore your parents Wedding photo. Your Mother's Wedding Dress and Coat are fabulous.
Have a lovely Easter.
cheers, parsnip
I'm so sorry you lost all of your treasured photographs in that fire, Gayle! I sometimes worry about that happening, especially with the very old pictures and negatives I have in my possession. There are so many that I haven't had time to scan and preserve many of them to the Cloud.
DeleteI hope at least some visions of past happy times, your childhood and family are preserved in your memories. My husband thinks they are the best kind anyway.
My mother and father were married in the parson's living room in Harrisburg. They certainly couldn't afford a big church wedding, but their union truly lasted til my dad's death parted them. She said they went to a movie for their 'honeymoon', and went to work the next day!
Mother was a seamstress in a coat factory at that time, and just now, your admiration of her wedding coat makes me regret never having asked her if she perhaps got a discount, because I agree it is quite elegant. My youthful dad is dapper as well. However, he reminds me of Eliot Ness!
Thank you for stopping by during this busy Easter week and helping to celebrate my mother's 107th birthday, Gayle. Have a wonderful holiday!
Happy birthday, Margaret! I would like to think Nan baked her a strawberry shortcake for her birthday and they are celebrating now.
ReplyDeleteKathleen, you have a gift of storytelling and your family history is amazing. I'm hoping today was full of love and light for you.
Have a great Thankful Thursday.
Hi there, Jessica Marie! I love the thought of your Nan and my mother sharing a heavenly dessert that just happened to be a favorite of hers. I can hear Mother now, saying to her, "This is delicious! It was so nice of you to bake it for me, but tell me, just how do you know about me and my birthday?" :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for complimenting me on my storytelling. I certainly love to do it - to anyone who's kind and patient enough to listen!
I thought of my sweet Mother often today, and therefore it was a day filled with love and light. In this time of renewed life, blossoming pink trees and her favorite colorful flowers decked out in full regalia everywhere, it seems like Nature is throwing a party for her.
Although I miss her, I smiled at the love she so freely gave and the beauty she brought into the world, and I strolled about my garden as I reminisced about her many spring planting days.
I have a special "pink" section of my garden dedicated to her memory, where I add a new flower in her favorite color every year. My goal is to have something in bloom there all season. Because I'm presently recovering from surgery earlier in the week, I couldn't do any planting today, warm and sunny as it was.
However I've already selected this year's flower, and placed its little pot on top of the soil where it will go once I can dig a home for it. It will be a fall bloomer.
I WAS thankful today, not only for Mother's long life, but for this blog of Tom's where friends such as you warm my heart with your comments. Thank you for celebrating with me, and please have a Fulfilling Friday!
Hi Kathleen,
DeleteI would like to think that once our loved ones enter Heaven, they meet others. Nan's 96th birthday would have been May 4, not far from your mother's birthday. :) I also like to think that our loved ones watch us and can know us too. It's comforting at least.
You're very right - nature is celebrating your mother! The beautiful weather, the pink petaled trees, and the life that blooms around us are all singing out for Margaret.
I hope that you recover soon and it's as painless as possible. ::hug:: I am glad that you carry gratitude with you daily, it does help.
I hope that you had a wonderful Easter.
I'm glad you stopped by again, Jessica Marie!
DeleteI agree that somehow our loved ones who have passed into another dimension often seem to draw close to us. I try to live in such a way that if they are watching, they'd be pleased at what they see. I try my best to continue their best lessons and gifts to us whose feet are firmly planted in THIS dimension, and extend their goodness even farther.
I am feeling better every day. Thank you for your wishes for my recovery. It is comforting and healing to know others care!
We had beautiful weather for our Easter Sunday. We spent yesterday and today with our daughter, so whenever that happens, it's always a holiday, regardless of the weather and the calendar!
I just read that our April full moon is called the Pink Moon, not because it's color changes, but because it shines its brightest when so many pink trees and flowers are in full bloom. Now that's something Mother would really love!
Thank you again for your friendly comments. Your Nan taught you well!
Hi Kathleen,
ReplyDeleteAs always, I enjoyed reading Margaret's tribute and more of her interesting life. I honestly believe that she made Lemonade from all her lemons! She found good in all of her hardships.
One of her greatest joys was when she met Ralph, her soulmate for life at age 16. I enjoyed all the pictures of Margaret from baby-105 and her family. She had a full life and such a strong faith in God. I truly miss going to visit her in the home Ralph built and not seeing the colorful cut out 106/107 on the wall behind her recliner. I miss her story telling with a little prompting from you. The bond of love the two of you shared was so joyful and visibly obvious. She had such sweet wisdom that I will treasure in my memory!
Thank you, Kathleen for sharing her story and thank you Tom for keeping it everlasting on Shady’s Place!
Happy Birthday, Magnificent Margaret!
Those were wonderful, almost sacred days, weren't they Toni? You always brought sunshine right into the door with you whenever you faithfully visited Mother and me during her last years.
ReplyDeleteRecently, I came across the sequined red slippers you gave her during one of your visits, and they made me smile, remembering how they made her the hit of the nursing home's PT room. When she sauntered through the door in her red metallic walker wearing those "ruby slippers", there were audible gasps from staff and patients alike. They so matched her smile and unsinkable spirit!
She always told me how glad she was that you "saved" her childhood home. Since she was sleepy many of the last times you visited, Mother couldn't be prodded to repeat her Dell stories for you as I'd usually wished. She was very tired and "used up" as she called it in those last months, and unfortunately not at the top of her storytelling game. However, you were accepting and gracious as always, and she and I both appreciated your kindness and thoughtful gifts.
I will always treasure the beautiful Christmas ornaments and decorations you gave her, and remember you when they grace my home at the holidays. The candy and lottery tickets always made her eyes light up, and she was so thrilled that last time she won $105 from those scratch offs, on her 105th birthday!
I'm so glad you enjoy the pictures from different time periods in her life. I keep finding new ones, so there are more to come that I'm sure you'll also like.
Thank you for continuing to bring the very same sunshine of your friendship to me that you gave to Mother - through our phone chats, texts, lunches, and blog comments such as this one. Mother would be very happy knowing you and I value our friendship and that you continue to remember her and the Shady Dell. You are still, along with Tom, finding new ways to "save" it!
Your writing such kind things about your memories of Mother, her life and the home she loved would probably still make her think all the honor and attention they represent aren't warranted. But we know differently, don't we!?
Have a wonderful Easter and upcoming travels, Toni!
Kathleen, I'm sorry I'm late to this wonderful birthday party for your heavenly Mom. I think her life story is so interesting and I love all the photos. She was a real beauty! How blessed to have had so many years with her yet it still makes us wish for many more doesn't it? Your memories and her stories are book worthy and I'm so glad you can share them here. I think her spunk and love of life is evident in all the photos. Happy Birthday to your Mom! I'm sure she is smiling down at you and enjoying all the fuss! Hugs to you from another Kathleen..YaYa!
ReplyDeleteGood Monday to you, yaya! I'm grateful for your cheery comment on this day after Easter. To me, unless in cases of life and death, "late" is a relative issue. I'm just glad you got the chance to see this year's birthday tribute to my mother, and enjoyed my illustrated recollections. There are many more from whence they came!
DeleteMother always taught me that any external beauty is fleeting at best, and I shouldn't put too much importance in it. (although she put her makeup on every morning - go figure!) When looking in the mirror, or especially at others, she told me that "what's inside here is what counts", while pointing gently to her heart. That's been a good maxim for me. Some of the most attractive people I meet often seem to project the most shallow personalities. Perhaps they expend too much intellectual energy on their physique and hair! :)
No matter what she said though, judging from the pictures of her from the 1920s, I'm not surprised my father chose to marry her above all others, because he loved both her appearance AND her basic goodness. I was indeed blessed to be with her a lot, and as age and time weathered her 'surface' loveliness, I was always so proud of her whenever I accompanied her or took her places. I could see the power of her humility and 'true' inward beauty on the faces of strangers meeting her for the first time, say in such pedestrian places as doctors' waiting rooms.
An expert at kindness and putting others at ease, she'd habitually look around the room to select a patient who appeared in the worst shape. She'd try her darnedest to get their eye, and for openers she'd state something matter-of-factly that they couldn't ignore, like "I'm 102, you know." Soon, after they got over their shock, details came out effortlessly about their lives. She really listened and commiserated if their stories were sad, or admired their pictures of cruises and grandchildren. When younger folks would tell her that their grandmother only lived to be 90, she'd just shake her head and say, "That's pretty old, you know, but I don't know why I'm still here." If the wait was long, she'd inevitably ask if they ever heard about the Shady Dell.
In more cases than not, primarily with senior patients, a wistful look came over their faces, revealing a Dell Rat. (I thought, "Oh boy, here we go...!") "You know", she'd say, "My father built that house". Chatty center of attention that Mother could often be, other patients overheard and sometimes chimed in with their memories.
I smile while writing this as I recall one time in particular. The nurse stood at the door of the waiting room with her patient record in hand, and laughingly asked me if I thought she should bring coffee and donuts, so loathe was the group to abandon their conflab! "Good luck! I hope your pain gets better.", she'd say with a smile and sometimes a touch on their arm as either she or they left the room. I dare say she was a part of their healing that day...
Thanks for YOUR friendliness and healing hugs this day. I hope to see you again, Another Kathleen!
Kathleen,
ReplyDeleteYour sweet mother was a true inspiration. I loved meeting her through our mutual friend, author of SDPP and was so honored how she answered, with your help, my questions from a few years back. Margaret reminds me a lot of my late FIL who passed away last year at the age of 95. He, as well as my late MIL, had a similar upbrings as your mother. They were people of character, integrity, and hard work ethics. Younger generations can learn so much from those who were raised during the Great Depression if they'd look past their self-centered selves to listen to the struggles of a past generation. I've often said, I'm so thankful to live in the age that I do because I love the modern conveniences that we have and cannot imagine just how hard my greatparents and great-grandparents had it. Thank you for sharing with us your beautiful memories and the amazing vintage photos from your mother's life. Happy Birthday to you, Maraget in heaven!
You are right, Cathy, that comparison of our times to those of our ancestors is cause for gratitude. I'm sorry you lost your father-in-law and mother-in-law, but it sounds like they had enough time to pass on their lessons, and for that you can be thankful. When I used to express pity to Mother for having endured so many tragedies in her life that spanned two centuries, she'd just say, "We were tough, and we didn't know any different back then!"
DeleteI used to bemoan the fact that my grandparents and great-grandparents didn't write down much about their lives, because it's so frustrating to peruse family history materials that have such big factual gaps and curious events. Then, Mother would take me to task, saying, "Kathy, they were just like you! They didn't have time because they were too busy just living."
I also think, now that I've discovered a few real "gems" (- read, skeletons in closets), that they intentionally left some things UN-recorded, hoping family members like me would never find them out. I'm finding old letters and post cards that show many had a poor education and/or were nearly illiterate. They certainly had no spellcheck on their quill pens (or in the case of my grandfather, his "modern" typewriter), even if they did minimally know how to read and write! I sure AM thankful I'm not in the same situation as I type this, enabled by an excellent education and technology that I still am learning.
I often wonder if people in the Dark Ages knew they were in a "Dark" time in history. As Mother said, they undoubtedly did whatever they had to do to survive. Our present world's family carries within it the genetic resilience they forged before they passed into oblivion. I'm fascinated by my Genome 2 sampling, learning how far all the thousands of my forebearers travelled until their combined DNA ended up in me! Where did my (formerly) red hair come from? How about my artistic bent? My predilection for sweets? Can I blame one of those guys in Western Europe during the 1200s? :)
I am surprised when I talk with people, that many do not know we are officially living in the Post-Modern Era. What descriptions and gifts are we leaving behind for future generations to which they can compare their lives? I'm trying by composing posts such as this, but I acutely sense the baton passing.
When I recently referred to a reel-to-reel tape recorder while talking to a friendly, 30-something store clerk, there was a complete look of incomprehension on his face! It's time to make our own "scratchings' like the ancient cave artists - recordings, journals and blogs to hand down what we felt and learned in our individual families and busy lives. It's so much easier in some respects, but not time-wise. We are just as tied up with the minutiae of our lives as they were, but we do have these marvelous tools for communication, don't we? Then our descendants can't say we didn't try!
Thank you for your comment and for wishing Mother a Happy Birthday, Cathy - something she always loved to hear!
Hi Kathleen,
ReplyDeletePlease accept my apologies for coming in so late, as we were on the road for a few days. I so enjoyed this post, as well as all the vintage photos of the kind of life that isn’t practiced as much as remembered anymore. I admire how you artfully depict a life about as close to perfect as one could ever hope for with such charming poise and palpable gratitude for the one who made your life so special. I well know those sunset walks aren’t easy, but with memories like yours to light the way you’ll never walk in darkness.
I love that you have a special area in your garden for your mom! I noted, in the comment section, several mentions of blooms and sunshine of late. You know why? Your mom is positively beaming from all the love you send her way. May the enduring glow of her love afford a swift recovery so that you’ll soon be back in your garden. I think it’s delightful that your mom was born in the month of the Pink Moon - Happy Birthday Mrs. Schneider!
I do hope you keep writing, Kathleen. If indeed, as Neil Postman once said: “Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see,” your mom couldn’t have a picked a better messenger.
What beautiful and heartwarming words, diedre! I am very
Deletetouched by what you wrote. You need not apologize because, as you can
tell with this reply, I often lag behind. To me, "late" often means
"worth the wait", and what you wrote is a perfect example of that! On
the years that Mother's birthday fell near Easter on the calendar, we
had trouble getting even family members to come to our celebration on
April 18th because there was so much going on, so please know that I
understand.
I am so amazed and thankful for this blog that brings kindred spirits
together, and provides sensitive and artistic types like us with a
warm and accepting place to go with our impressions, as well as
support for one another. I want you to know that I really am
comforted by your comparing memories of my mother to a beam of light
guiding me through darkness. That's an apt description that I'll
think of often in the days ahead!
I always feel close to her in nature, because I have vivid flashbacks
to helping her with chores - picking green beans, peas, lima beans and
tomatoes - from the time when I was little right up to her frail later
years. I hear her voice every time I walk through my own little
experiment of a flower garden. As I look for blooms to bring indoors,
I recall her thrilling at the sweet scent of her prized peonies, and
the sight of her heirloom "flags" (irises) that she and I picked the
day before Memorial Day every year.
Destined to become cemetery bouquets that didn't cost her a penny,
they were much more original and exuberant than the mass produced ones
found for a steep price today. Large foil-covered juice cans held the
pink, white and burgundy peonies, velvety purple-and-white irises,
bicolored columbines and ferns. They were lovingly placed on the
graves of her ancestors, parents, brothers and sisters. For a number
of Mother's last years, she was the only remaining member of her
original Shady Dell family. Then sadly, we eventually had to visit my
father's resting place too. After she placed that largest bouquet,
she'd say matter-of-factly, "I'll be here with him soon".
Decoration Day, as Mother called it, was an all-day affair. The car
was loaded with enough flowers for three different cemeteries, where,
pausing before each headstone, she sometimes touched the names carved
into them, silently honoring them with her own flashbacks as well as
the beautiful offerings from her garden. Looking back now at those
gestures, and after reading your comment, diedre, I realize that HER
memories surely illuminated the dark path of so many of her losses
that accumulated over time.
Thank you for this lovely piece of writing, and encouraging me to
continue my own. I also appreciate being able to share the pictures
that illustrate my mother's life and times, and know that you enjoy
seeing them. I know you understand how each photograph begs for its
story to be told. Hopefully both image and words will spread some of
that light you mentioned around.
We are all messengers, aren't we?!
What a wonderful tribute! Terrific pictures of a life well-lived!
ReplyDeleteHi there, Sherry! I'm glad you liked the scenes I selected from my mother's life to honor her on her 107th birthday. I hope you return for more of them in the future, because I have many more to show you!
Deletei am so sorry for missing your post because, I really enjoyed sending her birthday wishes through Shady's blog. Seeing these pictures makes me want to see more. My dad was only a year younger, born March 14th (although probably Feb 15th but we always celebrated on the 14th) so he went through many similar experiences but with different results. He never mentioned anyone being ill during the great flu pandemic but he was up north and maybe it didn't reach there in the small town?? I am not sure I would want to drink that mixture but if it did the trick, then never lose this because I would try it if I had a dangerous flu. I love those itchy bathing suits they had to wear and that she knew how to kick up her heels with the charleston. You father was handsome and they looked like a great couple on their wedding day. I bet she is with him now, enjoying all the time they spent and the love they have for one another. She was great to you and your family and it is so nice to know that she had such loving children.
ReplyDeleteThat's okay, Birgit. Where Mother is now, time as we know it is probably of no consequence!
DeleteI'm still enjoying the lovely card you made for me when Mother passed away. Thank you again for sending it.
I love sharing these photos and stories. I just wish I could organize my roller-coaster life to do more.
Our fathers' generation was strong and resilient. I'd be interested in hearing some of your dad's stories and those different results you mentioned.
There is renewed interest in the Spanish Influenza, no doubt because an outbreak of other pathogens today has the potential to be even more widespread and dangerous because of the ease of international travel.
My grandfather's concoctions seem strange to our sensibilities, but come to think of it, do we know the sources of ingredients in our medicines today? We might be surprised to find out!
Not only were the old wool bathing suits itchy, at least two on that old beach photo were rented. Note the name "Bay Head" (a coastal town) and numbers on the front of the suits worn by my aunts. Some historical fashion research indicated the suits were returned for laundering after being worn, and then rented out multiple times! Not our idea of good hygiene, but I guess economical. They certainly wouldn't be tempting to keep, would they? :)
I'm often comforted by picturing my mother and father together once more. Mother certainly expected that and looked forward to it eagerly. She could never understand why God took my dad, and left her go on without him for 37 years.
I hope you'll also enjoy any other posts Tom helps me publish - if and when I can make them happen! I'm presently working on another one due to be published the end of May. Perhaps we'll see you there!