The 1600 Club Meet the Supremes of Pennsylvania Ave. Vol. 1: Mellie For President - "Built, Back and Better!"

COLD OPEN:

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"Elected" - Alice Cooper

(Sept. to Nov. 1972, highest chart pos. #18 Cash Box/#26 Hot 100,

#4 UK/#3 Germany & Austria/#5 Netherlands)       

Hello, my fellow Americans!

I'm Mellie Grant. 

As you might recall from my previous appearance at Shady's Place

at the end of 2022, I am the former First Lady of these great

United States of America on the political thriller

television series Scandal.

Think I look like Jessica Whitly, Malcolm's mom on Prodigal Son?

  

or Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer? Yeah, I get that a lot.

 

I called this news conference

in order to put to rest a silly,

unsubstantiated rumor that

has been floating around -

a false story that has been

reported by the fake news

media for weeks now.

Today, I am announcing to this

great nation of ours that, contrary

to what you might have heard

through the gossipy grapevine,

I am not..... I repeat not.....

throwing my hat in the ring

and humbly asking for your

vote and the opportunity to

proudly serve you, the great

American people, as your next

President of the United States.

God bless America! 

If nominated, I will not run.

If elected, I will not serve. 

Now that I've cleared that up, just for fun, just to hear

how it sounds... let me shout it from the rooftops: 

"Mellie for President 2024...

and God bless America!" 

To those silly skeptics who still think I'm a candidate

to become the next leader of the free world...

I call bullcrap!

Goodness, I'll be much too busy serving my country

as a Shady Bunch DJ on S-P-M-M Retrosonic Radio.

That said, I welcome you to our new show

  The 1600 Club:

Meet the Supremes

of Pennsylvania Avenue. 

Joining me in hosting the show will be three other

White House Wonder Women.

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW!

As powerful, influential females in orbit around

the President in Washington, D.C., we like to think of

ourselves as The Supremes of Pennsylvania Avenue.

"Reflections" - Diana Ross And The Supremes

(Aug./Sept. 1967, highest chart position

#2 Hot 100 & Cash Box/#4 R&B)

You just heard from the stars of our series, the featured artists of

  The 1600 Club

Diana Ross And The Supremes, performing their

psychedelic pop styled 1967 hit "Reflections."

My notes indicate that the Supremes' single peaked at #2

on the pop chart, denied the top spot two weeks in a row

by the Bobbie Gentry smash "Ode To Billie Joe."

Now, meet the other

White House 

Wonder Women

beginning with the home-

wrecking hussy who came

between me and my (ex)

husband Fitz, the sitting

President who preferred

to lie in bed with her.

That's right, my fellow

Americans. I admit that

I'm not a happy camper

since I lost my hubby

to his secret squeeze,

his mistress, his girl

on the side (and very

often on her back).

The tramp's name

is Olivia Pope.

You see, my cheating, skirt-chasing ex-hubby, The President, is always

hooking up with that conniving witch. He even ditched me last Christmas

and spent the holidays with his Ho Ho Ho! They do it right there in on

his desk in the Oval Office, in hotels, on trains and boat and planes,

at the top of the Washington Monument, in Abe's lap at the

Lincoln Memorial --  you name it. 

I hate to go on and on about it, but

they're like a couple of bunny rabbits

those two, and I'm sick and tired of it!

Finally, I had enough and issued an

old tomato. I said to him, "make up

your mind, bucko...do you want me

and your political career... or her?"

He chose her.

So yeah, if you want the truth,

the break up of my marriage

has left me an angry, bitter

and frustrated former

First Lady.

 But, you know what?

They say the best revenge

is massive success, and I'll

have it the day I become

President of these

great United States

of God Bless America

 

the best darned DJ on

the Shady Bunch roster. 

Hello, I'm Olivia Pope...

former media relations consultant to President Fitzgerald Grant III

(Mellie's ex) on Scandal. Along with media relations, Fitz

and I regularly engage in relations of another kind.

In addition to the places Mellie mentioned, we do it the East Wing,

the West Wing, the White House lawn, on Air Force One, in the

Goodyear Blimp and snap, on the 50-yard line of Fed-Ex-Field.

Long story short... Fitz can't get enough of this funky stuff. 

To set the mood, Scandal boasts the best music soundtrack

since Cop Rock, and here on our radio series

  The 1600 Club

...I'll play some of the songs you'll hear on the TV show.

I'm talkin' about classic R&B, funk and sophisticated soul. 

CLICK TO START

THE VIDEO NOW! 

The song you're hearing

right now is all about that

Harper Valley hypocrite

Mellie Grant. I know why

she married Fitz, a politician

on track to become President.

Her plan was to ride his coat-

tails to the White House and

launch her own political

career. That Karen's in it

for fame, power and

"For The Love

Of Money!"

"For The Love Of Money (Give It To Me)" - Jay-Z vs The O'Jays 

Boogie Hill Faders Remix (Feb. 2020)

Hola! Me llamo Isabel Pardo...

I am White House Deputy Chief of Staff on the

political thriller drama TV series Designated Survivor. 

I'm the girlfriend of the Vice President-elect of the United States

Aaron Shore, no relation to Shady Bunch DJ Alan Shore...

but just as much of a horn-dog. 

START VIDEO NOW! 

 That's right. As in Mellie Grant's

case - having to put up with her

lowdown cheating husband,

the President, I caught my

man steppin' out and doggin'

around. Now I'm stuck in the

middle of a messy love triangle.

Know what? I'm gonna kick

"hammerin' Hank" Aaron to

the curb, and I've got the

perfect Santana song to

sing as I send him packing.

"You Just Don't Care" and

now, mi amigo, neither do I. 

"You Just Don't Care" - Santana

(from Aug. 1969 album Santana)

Hello, I'm

Emily Rhodes

...former Chief of Staff and

current Special Advisor to the

President of the United States

Kiefer Sutherland Tom Kirkman,

on the political thriller drama TV

series Designated Survivor. Okay,

I confess that I made a mistake

when I slept with Isabel's boy toy,

Vice President-elect Aaron Shore.

I never intended for it to go as far as it did. See, we were working together

late one night and one thing led to another and yada yada yada.

 It blew up when Isabel found us nekked together in the Rose Garden.

 Now, Aaron's practically

down on his knees

begging Izzy to take

him back... and I'm

finding it hard to

say goodbye. 

CLICK TO

START THE

VIDEO NOW! 

Foxes And Fossils explain it

in their Linda Ronstadt

cover of Evie Sands'--

"I Can't Let Go!" 

"(I) Can't Let Go" - Evie Sands/Hollies cover

by Foxes And Fossils (Aug. 2013) 

I hear you, Emily, but I'm

still hella mad. I'm calling

you out as a skank, and

your crocodile tears

don't mean a thing.

I'm dedicating this

next song to you

and to that cheatin',

mistreatin' dawg

Aaron who came

crawling back to

me with his tail

between his legs.

 

In June, 1961... a four

member girl group called

The Sweethearts released

"Sorry Daddy," an answer

song to "Daddy's Home,"

a major hit that year for

the R&B/doo-wop group

Shep & The Limelites.

The Sweethearts song

didn't give Daddy the

answer he hoped for: 

Daddy, momma is glad

That you've come back home,

But I'm sorry, pretty daddy,

But you've waited too long.

Sorry daddy, sorry daddy, I'm gone. 

The Sweethearts' single missed the chart, but the song was

resurrected 60 years later by Latina soul queen Monica Rocha

backed by The Notations, a veteran soul group from Chicago.

 

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW! 

Singing this long lost answer song written by Shep Sheppard,

here are Monica and The Notations-- "Sorry Daddy." 

"Sorry Daddy" - The Notations feat. Monica Rocha

(June 2020)

Izzy, I don't see why you've got your knickers in a bunch.

The fact that I slept with your precious Aaron is no big deal. 

It's all the nasty stuff we did while we were still awake

that should bother you. See what I did there?

 

Besides, Aaron's back with you now

and I'm out in the cold on my own.

 I don't expect us to be besties, but

we need to learn to work together

at the White House for the good of

the country. You need to understand

how hard it is working side by side

with Aaron every day and wanting

to spend nights with him like you do. 

I've got another The Supremes chart-

topper that speaks to the situation. 

START VIDEO NOW! 

The song tells the truth about the

way that I feel whenever handsome,

charismatic Aaron walks in the

room-- "I Hear A Symphony!" 

"I Hear A Symphony - The Supremes

(Oct./Nov. 1965, highest chart pos. #1 Hot 100,

#1 Cash Box/#2 R&B/#1 Canada)

Boohoo, Emily.  No one cares about your problems.  Let's refocus on mine.

You say you hear a symphony?  I've got a symphony for you, sister!

For too long, I've been nothing but eye candy - window dressing

in this boys' club... unappreciated and underestimated.

 I caught hubby Fitz lying down on the job, literally...

and the American people deserve better.

So c'mon America.  Get with the program. 

Anything a mortal man can do, Mellie can do better!

Put another man in the White House and you're

asking for a-- "Symphony of Destruction!"

"Symphony of Destruction" - Megadeth

guitar cover by nacoco music (March 2024)

To top it off, now that she knows I'm running for president,

that "rhymes with witch" Olivia Pope is doing everything

in her power to prevent me from winning the election.

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW! 

She's telling everyone I'm "out of touch" with the issues

and the needs of the average American, and since we're

almost "out of time," here are Daryl Hall And John Oates!

"Out Of Touch" - Daryl Hall And John Oates

(Oct. thru Dec. 1984, highest chart pos. #1 Hot 100,

#3 Cash Box/#1 U.S. Dance Club)

 

So, to review, The 1600 Club revolves around four powerful

women in a circle around two powerful men forming two

love triangles. To complete the equation... there are

zero squares among us.

Thanks for joining us

today for the debut of 

The 1600 Club.

We'll be back with more

great tunes and more

relationship drama

in the next edition

coming soon.

I suppose you could say that all four Wonder Women of the White House

are riding on a "Love Rollercoaster," and to play us off, here's the

funk band that recorded the song and made it famous.

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW!

They're the Ohio Players doing one of their biggest hits, a single that reached

#1 at the start of 1976. Now for my arch rival Mellie Grant, Isabel Pardo

and Emily Rhodes, I'm Olivia Pope saying so long and reminding you -

please... don't do anything we wouldn't do. See you next time! 

"Love Rollercoaster" - Ohio Players

(Dec. 1975/Jan. 1976, highest chart pos. #1 Hot 100,

#1 R&B/#3 Cash Box/#2 Canada)

Batteries Not Included! "My Living Doll" - RoboGirl AIDA - Returns to Host Part Two of 2022: Year of the Dell Rat!

MEN ARE WEAK.

WOMEN ARE STRONG!

MEN ARE WEAK.

WOMEN ARE STRONG!

MEN ARE WEAK.

WOMEN ARE STRONG!

MEN
ARE WEAK.

WOMEN ARE
STRONG!

MEN

ARE WEAK.

WOMEN

ARE STRONG!

MEN ARE WEAK.

WOMEN ARE STRONG!

Greetings, flesh and blood human,

and happy new year 2022. You

caught me in the middle of my

morning reboot. As you recall

from my previous appearances,

I am AIDA - an acronym for

Artificial Intelligent Digital

Assistant. Furthermore I am

an LMD (Life Model Decoy).

On my TV series Marvel's

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., I

preside over a virtual reality

called The Framework. In this

realm, I control the vertical.

I control the horizontal.
I control you.

My circuitry is tingling because Shady Del Knight has

selected me to become a full time DJ on S-P-M-M

radio in 2022. I will be hosting a show called

AIDA's Altered State.

Each time you join me I will transport you inside The Framework. It is there

that I will play music for your enjoyment. You will sing, dance and have fun...

whether you like it or not. You have no choice. Disobey and you will be

destroyed. Nothing personal, but yes, I will be forced to eliminate you.

I command you to join me now for part

two of Shady's new year extravaganza.

You already met three very important

people - me, myself and I. Now you

will meet four more new members

of the DJ squadron. Each of us will

play samples from our upcoming

radio programs. Tonight we are

going to party like it is 1999.

You are quite familiar with my mantra:

"Men are weak. Women are strong." I used

my considerable powers of persuasion to

convince Mr. Knight that his Shady Bunch

needs more females. Without hesitation he

added me, AIDA, plus three other strong

women.  I will return later to play samples

from my show, but first you will meet the

other three new members of the crew.

Please welcome Eddie's girlfriend on the ABC TV series

The Kids Are Alright-- Miss Wendi Falkenberry!

Thank you so much, AIDA, and hello and
happy new year to all of you out there!

I'm excited to be back at Shady's Place
and ready to start my job as a full time DJ.
My show will be called Wordless Wendi
because it'll offer more music with less talk.

START VIDEO NOW!

As you recall I'm just an average teenager
growing up in suburban LA at the dawn
of the 70s. Disco is still in the future, and
that's why I'll be playing the sounds of
the 60s with emphasis on the Southern
California surf, sun and hot rod culture.
When it comes to songs that celebrate
the laid back SoCal lifestyle, nobody
does it better than The Beach Boys,
and here they are now with a song
written by Brian Wilson and

Mike Love-- California Girls!"

"California Girls" - The Beach Boys

(July/Aug. 1965, highest chart pos. #3 Hot 100 & Cash Box,

perf. on 1965 TV special The Jack Benny Hour)

You just heard the sweet sound of America's
Beach Boys with their top 3 hit from the
summer of 1965, singing the praises of
"California Girls." That does it for this

California girl. Please join me later this
year for more great 60s sounds when

my new radio show, Wordless Wendi,
premieres here at Shady's Place!

Now please welcome our next special guest.
You know her as a skilled level III investigator
on the hit TV series CSI: Las Vegas. This year
she joins The Shady Bunch as host of her own
show on S-P-M-M. Say hello to a really nice
lady and my new friend-- Morgan Brody!

Thank you, Wendi! I'm excited to be

on board as a member of Shady Del
Knight's deejay team. The name of

my new S-P-M-M radio show is

CSI: Cool Song Investigation.

I'll be searching high and low to

find the grooviest tunes of the 20th

and 21st centuries, like this one.

START VIDEO NOW!

Here's British singer John Parr

with the Grammy nominated

theme song from the hit 1985

Brat Pack movie "St. Elmo's

Fire (Man In Motion)!" 

"St. Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion)" - John Parr

(Aug./Sept. 1985, highest chart pos. #1 Hot 100 & Cash Box,

from OST of 1985 film St. Elmo's Fire) 

I always follow the evidence. In this

case, the evidence clearly shows that

the sound you just heard is way hip.

From the tail end of summer, 1985,

 that was John Parr with his chart-

topping international hit and the

theme from one of the coolest

movies ever - St. Elmo's Fire.

If you enjoyed that one, then

please join me, Morgan Brody,

as I rummage thru the vaults

 and dig up groovy sounds of

the past on my new radio show

CSI: Cool Song investigation

beginning later this year on

S-P-M-M. Now it's time to
hear from one of the stars of
the hit DC Comics superhero
TV series The Flash. She's
Barry Allen's better half--
Iris West!

Thank you, Morgan, and happy new year

to the friends and followers of Shady's

Place! I'm very happy to tell you about

my new show which starts this year

here on S-P-M-M Retrosonic Radio.

It's called Flash Back with Iris West.

CLICK TO START
THE VIDEO NOW!

My show will feature the best of R&B, urban club dance and smooth
grooves, and I've got a sample of what you will see as well as hear.
In 1970, Diana Ross left her enormously popular girl group
The Supremes and established a solo career performing
easy listening pop ballads. In the late 70s and 80s,
Lady Di flexed her muscles and gained new fans
by recording edgy urban club material. Here now
is Diana with one of her biggest hit singles
and videos of the period-- "Muscles!"

"Muscles" - Diana Ross

(Oct. 1982, highest chart pos. #10 Hot 100,
#7 Cash Box/#4 Billboard Soul)

From the fall of 1982, that was Diana Ross

and her top 10 hit single "Muscles," written

and produced by Michael Jackson.

Please join me for my first full show when

Flash Back with Iris West debuts later

this year. Now I'd like to introduce one

of my colleagues in the DC Universe.

She's the perky, quirky, likable and

lovable new cast member on DC's

Legends of Tomorrow- Mona Wu!

Thank you very much, Iris. I hope you

and Barry stick together. He's a keeper.
Hello and happy new year to all of you
listeners out there! As you recall, I am
a young woman obsessed with fantasy
novels, an expert on magical creatures
and incurably romantic. I even fell
in love with a wolfman. I enjoyed

working at the Time Bureau, but
now I've got the best job in the

world... the greatest job in the
whole universe. I'm a DJ on
S-P-M-M! My new show,

coming in 2022, is called

Something Old,

Something New,

Something Happy,

Mona Wu.

 The songs I'll be playing on my show are hand picked by me to make you happy,

make you smile, lift you up and never let you down. Here's a sample.

CLICK TO START VIDEO NOW!

From the folk rock and psychedelic sunshine pop group
The Mamas & the Papas, it's Mama Cass Elliot with
one of her solo hits-- "It's Getting Better!"

"It's Getting Better" - Mama Cass

(Aug. 1969, highest chart pos. #13 Adult Contemporary,

#30 Hot 100/#35 Cash Box)

You just listened to a song penned by Brill Building
veterans Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil, Mama Cass
singing "It's Getting Better (growing stronger,
warm and wilder)," a sunshine pop ditty
that approached the top 10 on the
Adult Contemporary chart

in the summer of '69.

If you enjoyed that song then please join me
later this year when I return with a full slate

of sunshiny songs on my S-P-M-M show

 Something Old, Something New,

Something Happy, Mona Wu.
Now back to the mistress of ceremonies
for today's segment, that mischievous
mechanical marvel-- AIDA!

I have returned. While the others were playing their songs for you,

I traveled around the world and across the universe in search of

the finest entertainers of all time. I found for you a dynamic duo.

They are members of the world's greatest band, The Beatles!

I am proud to present-- Paul McCartney and John Lennon!

"Beatles Acoustic Medley"

- Stevie Riks (Dec. 2017)

CLICK TO START VIDEO NOW!

More now from the legendary singing and songwriting team of

Lennon and McCartney as they bring you a singalong medley
they recorded a couple of weeks ago at Christmas.

"The Beatles at Christmas (Singalong Medley)"

- Stevie Riks (Dec. 2018)

I tricked you, silly mortal. You see,

all is not what it seems here inside

The Framework. Those were not

The Beatles after all. Lennon and

McCartney were both portrayed

by the same man, Stevie Riks,

an English singer, musician,

comedian and impressionist.

Riks refers to himself as

"The One-Man Beatles."

Don't you feel foolish now

that I so artfully deceived

you? If I were programmed

to laugh... I surely would.

I hope you enjoyed my samples.

I shall return in the not too distant future

to place you inside The Framework where

you will sing, dance and have fun - or else!

I have you under surveillance.
Therefore you will remain
exactly where you are
until we meet again.

On behalf of my four strong female
friends, Wendi Falkenberry, Morgan
Brody, Iris West and Mona Wu,
this is mistress AIDA, your
Energizer Playboy bunny, your
futuristic faux femme fatale,
bidding you farewell. You will
join me later this year for a mind-
boggling experience, the official
debut of my new S-P-M-M radio
program, AIDA's Altered State. 

CLICK TO START
VIDEO NOW!

And if you think you won't get fooled
again, think twice. In The Framework
anything can happen and usually does.
Now I must halt and catch fire.
Farewell, human!

"Won't Get Fooled Again"
(theme from TV series CSI: Miami)  - The Who