Loris in Bloom

COLD OPEN

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW! 

"Yesterday Once More" - The Carpenters

(July/Aug. 1973, highest chart position

#1 Cash Box & Easy Listening/#2 Hot 100) 

Kicking off the show, musical siblings Karen & Richard, The Carpenters,

and "Yesterday Once More," a chart-topping hit from the summer

of 1973 that reminisces about songs of a generation gone by.

 

Hello, I'm Loris Webb... 

an 80 year old granny (above)...

who's been mysteriously transformed...

into a bloomin' 20-something hottie! (below)

 on the Australian science fiction mystery TV series Bloom. 

I'm not my daughter's age. I'm my granddaughter's age!

I guess you could call me a late bloomer Boomer.

Here's how it happened.

 A year after a devastating flood killed five people in my

idyllic country town in Victoria, a mysterious new plant

began to appear. Soon it was discovered that the plant,

unlike the "Audrey Junior" in Little Shop of Horrors,

does not sing... and does not eat people. 

When consumed, the plant's berry

has the power to restore youth! 

For aging locals like me, it was a gift of

power beyond our wildest imagining. 

This Fountain of Youth in edible form is a miracle that some townsfolk

will kill to keep secret. (No hearing it through the grapevine.)

Maybe we should call those berries the grapes of wrath.

My friend Gwen, who was in my 1961 high school graduating class,

has been gobbling up those tutti frutties like there's no tomorrow.

(Hint: there might not be a tomorrow.)  

 Clearly, this is not your granddaddy's Please Don't Eat the Daisies. When Gwen

and I and other grannies and granddads turn young again, all we want to do is

raise hell, shag and keep eating those bewitched berries. Simply put, in our

little town, the boomers muncha buncha bloomers and act like they're

reborn to be wild! To complicate matters, there aren't enough

plants and berries to go around, and if you stop taking

those purple pep pills, the effect quickly wears off

and ZAP! - You're Morganized  old again! 

Now that you know our story, I welcome you to a sneak peek at my radio show

Loris in Bloom

exclusively here on S-P-M-M Retrosonic Radio. The oldies I play will

make Boomers like us feel young again, get us singing and dancing...

 maybe even doing some romancing. So get set to relive the

glory days of your bloomin' Boomer youth as my

7-song-in-a-row block party continues!

 

A few days ago,

when I was 80...

I was meek, mild-

mannered... and

aging gracefully.

BOOM!

Now, after taking Love Potion No. 9 in the form of those purple pellets

and turning 60 years younger, I wanna rock & roll all night and party

every day. Thanks to that perplexing plant... all I wanna do is root.

This metamorphosis, this extreme makeover, has me baffled and bewildered. 

Somehow I have gone back to the future... been given the present of the past...

 and as far as my body and libido are concerned, it's "Yesterday Once More." 

When I turned 60 years younger

overnight, it was a fresh start.

It felt like a warm breeze

was blowing into my life. 

START VIDEO! 

To help explain the feeling, I'm going

to play a German song re-written in

English by composer Johnny Mercer

and recorded by Frank Sinatra, a

chart-topping Easy Listening hit

for The Sultan of Swoon. Listen

now as Ol' Blue Eyes turns back

the clock to 1966 and makes

you young again singing--

"Summer Wind." 

"Summer Wind" - Frank Sinatra

(Sept./Oct. 1966, highest chart position

#1 Easy Listening/#25 Hot 100/#26 Cash Box) 

Summer breeze makes me feel high,

and I lost you to the "Summer Wind."

That was cool as a cucumber crooner

Francis Albert Sinatra with his #1

charting single from the fall of

1966, a song from the album

Strangers in the Night. 

These two are frequent flyers on

S-P-M-M Retro Radio, and for

good reason. The Niagara Falls

brother - sister duo Nino Tempo

and April Stevens were smooth,

polished, poised, professional

and oh so talented. Just before

Christmas in 1965, Nino and

April appeared on Dick Clark's

American Bandstand and sang

"Begin The Beguine," the Cole

Porter song introduced in the

1935 Broadway musical Jubilee. 

"Begin The Beguine" - Nino Tempo And April Stevens

(from 1964 album Nino And April Sing The Great Songs,

perf. on Dec. 18, 1965, ep. of American Bandstand) 

If you're just tuning in, I'm Loris Webb...

the late bloomer Boomer, the little old lady

from Padasena the land of Oz... 

... transformed by a peculiar petunia

and its bewitched beans into a younger

me - and I don't mean a little younger -

I mean a lot younger. I'm the budding,

blossoming beauty I was in my early 20s.

Let's put it this way. That perplexing plant

(I've named him Robert) has been berry

berry good to me! (BA-DUM-BUMP)

And I assure you that I'm no shy violet. 

Now, let's get back to the music from

my (and your) Boomer youth. 'Twas

the spring of 1960 and I was close

to the age I am now thanks to

Halle Berry (yep, I named her)

... the fruit of that funky vine.

CLICK TO START

THE VIDEO NOW! 

The Everly Brothers, Phil and Don, were topping the charts

in countries all over the world with their song- "Cathy's Clown." 

"Cathy's Clown" - The Everly Brothers

(May/June 1960, highest chart position

#1 Hot 100/#1 Cash Box/#1 R&B/#1 UK) 

That was "Cathy's Clown," the biggest selling record of The Everly Brothers'

long career. The single spent five weeks at #1 on Billboard and Cash Box,

seven weeks at #1 in the UK and topped the U.S. R&B chart for one week. 

Loris Webb at the mic on S-P-M-M Retrosonic Radio... the station that

makes you feel young again and berry berry happy.  This is my new show

Loris in Bloom

inspired by the Australian fantasy mystery TV series Bloom.  The songs I'm

playing help tell the amazing true story of how I shed six decades overnight. 

Now that I've gone from 80 to 20, I've hit a speed bump. My daughter

has now assumed the role of my nagging mother. She even tried to

ground me for acting like such a tart. The good news is that I've

become besties with my granddaughter. It's ladies night down

at the corner pub and she and I plan to close the joint. 

This next fellow is no stranger

to the top of the chart. In 1960,

Chubby Checker's cover of the

Hank Ballard song "The Twist"

reached #1 and ignited a world-

wide dance craze. (I remember

doing "The Twist" here in the

Outback.) In 1961, Chubby

scored one of the biggest

records of the year with

another "Twist" song. 

CLICK TO START

THE VIDEO NOW! 

Chubby Checker chants:

"Let's Twist Again!" 

"Let's Twist Again" - Chubby Checker

(July/Aug. 1961, highest chart pos. 

#3 Cash Box/#8 Hot 100)

Gonna do The Twist and it goes like this!  From the summer of '61,

that was Chubby Checker milking the dance craze he started

for all it was worth and landing in the top 3 winner's circle

with his follow-up hit, "Let's Twist Again."  

I'm running out of time (in more

ways than one), and I hope you

enjoyed this sneak preview of

Loris in Bloom

...the new radio show that will

magically make you young again,

coming soon to Shady's Place.

Speaking of magic, stay tuned.

Coming up on the flip side of

Gary Owens' news, it's my new

best friend Erica Strange with

another edition of her series

Strange Magic Being Erica

right here on S-P-M-M...

the station that brings

you Retrosonic songs in

bloomin' Futuresonic

Stereo Surround. 

CLICK TO START THE VIDEO NOW! 

To play us off, Jewel Akens on Shindig! telling us about 

"The Birds And The Bees!" Now this is Loris Webb leaving

you with sound advice: Never grow up - never grow old! 

"The Birds And The Bees" - Jewel Akens

(Feb./Mar. 1965, highest chart pos. #2 Cash Box/#3 Hot 100,

#21 R&B, performance on Feb. 10, 1965, ep. of Shindig!)