What's Cookin' with Mazola & Oils?

The following made up ditty should be sung

(by you) to the melody of the theme song from

The Patty Duke Show.

To refresh your memory of the song, click below.

Now sing the song using these lyrics:

Meet Maura...

...who's lived most everywhere,

From Zanzibar to Barclay Square.

But Janie's only seen the sights.

A girl can see from Boston Light.

What a crazy pair!

But they're like cousins,

Identical cousins all the way.

One pair of matching bookends,

Different as night and day.

Where Maura adores a minuet,

The Ballet Russes, and crepe suzette,

Our Janie loves to rock and roll,

A hot dog makes her lose control

What a wild duet!

Still, they're like cousins,

Identical cousins and you'll find,

They laugh alike, they walk alike,

At times they even talk alike --

You can lose your mind,

Mazola & Oils
are two of a kind!

NOW WATCH THE ORIGINAL

UNAIRED PILOT EPISODE:

Mazola & Oils:

"Me Maura - You Jane."

FOR YEARS THIS RARE TAPE WAS LOCKED INSIDE

A VAULT UNDER HEAVY GUARD. IT WAS RECENTLY

SALVAGED WHEN THE SAFE WAS BLOWN UP

DURING A LIVE TV BROADCAST HOSTED BY

INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER GERALDO RIVERA.

YOU ARE THE VERY FIRST TO VIEW

THIS LONG FORGOTTEN EPISODE!

I'm Jane Mazola.

I'm a detective with the Boston P.D.

Homicide Unit. Care to arm wrestle?

You know I'll beat you like I beat my brother
Frankie and all the other guys on the force.

(rt.) I'm Dr. Maura Oils, Medical Examiner.

The guys (and girl) down at the precinct
nicknamed me "Queen of the Dead."

Jane and I are BFFs. We spend a lot

of time together and do lots of things

together... like take yoga classes.

meditate...

...and give each other peculiar,

provocative and telling glances.

Actually they're called PDMAs, Jane -

public displays of mutual admiration.

We're best buds, besties...

... so close we're practically
joined at the hip.

(below) Angela Mazola, Jane's mother:

I swear to you, Jane, I haven't slept a wink since you

got it in your foolish, stubborn head to become a cop.

Being a cop is a man's job. Looking pretty and

cooking meals for him is a woman's role in this world.

Look at the clothes you wear!

The man is supposed to wear the pants.
Would it kill you to put a dress on now and then?

Yes, actually it would, ma.

Jane, you need a man
in your life. There's a
cute billionaire doctor

I'd like you to meet.

I'm good, ma.

She's good,
Mrs. Mazola.
Believe me,
she's good.

Watch rizzoli & isles...

one of my favorite TV series...

now playing on TNT and Hulu...

a recipe for entertainment...
with a dash of spice!

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS' DAY!